Monday, August 30, 2004
Amy’s Birthday
While it’s traditional to get people drunk for their birthday in these parts, we decided to break with tradition for Amy. Instead of loading her up with alcohol, we loaded her up with calories.
All day Saturday Thomas, Michel and I were working in the kitchen, or running out to pick up treats. It was fun, working in the kitchen with Michel. I’ve never really had a sous-chef before, and he took to it quite well! After eating at my place, he certainly gained a certain perspective on what I know about Amy’s appetite, and he’s eager to learn. I even let him in on the secret I have shared with Thomas: Amy is a living, breathing (, eating) work of art.
It clicked with Michel, I think he sort of felt this already.
It’s a powerful idea, and I think it has pervaded history, that women ARE art. Except, most people simply try to CAPTURE the beauty of a woman. They don’t try to create with them. Sure, there are fashion designers, even makeup artists. I suppose plastic surgeons consider their craft to be art too. Okay, maybe we’re not unique in our views. Doesn’t make them any less enjoyable nor powerful.
I’d thought about listing what Amy had to eat, but you know what? It was our gift to her. It was probably more than she’s ever eaten, and I know she enjoyed it. So I’ll leave it at that.
We DID eventually take her out. We went to a roadhouse where she had some drinks, and a tonne of wings. We didn’t let her drink too much, I’d hate to think what happens if she gets drunk on a full stomach… some of her friends from school were there, including one she hadn’t seen in a couple years.
We all had a great time, and Amy and Ian certainly enjoyed demonstrating their ability to put back chicken wings.
All day Saturday Thomas, Michel and I were working in the kitchen, or running out to pick up treats. It was fun, working in the kitchen with Michel. I’ve never really had a sous-chef before, and he took to it quite well! After eating at my place, he certainly gained a certain perspective on what I know about Amy’s appetite, and he’s eager to learn. I even let him in on the secret I have shared with Thomas: Amy is a living, breathing (, eating) work of art.
It clicked with Michel, I think he sort of felt this already.
It’s a powerful idea, and I think it has pervaded history, that women ARE art. Except, most people simply try to CAPTURE the beauty of a woman. They don’t try to create with them. Sure, there are fashion designers, even makeup artists. I suppose plastic surgeons consider their craft to be art too. Okay, maybe we’re not unique in our views. Doesn’t make them any less enjoyable nor powerful.
I’d thought about listing what Amy had to eat, but you know what? It was our gift to her. It was probably more than she’s ever eaten, and I know she enjoyed it. So I’ll leave it at that.
We DID eventually take her out. We went to a roadhouse where she had some drinks, and a tonne of wings. We didn’t let her drink too much, I’d hate to think what happens if she gets drunk on a full stomach… some of her friends from school were there, including one she hadn’t seen in a couple years.
We all had a great time, and Amy and Ian certainly enjoyed demonstrating their ability to put back chicken wings.
Friday, August 27, 2004
Michel and Michelle
I’ve been meaning to write this update.
Wednesday I got to meet Michel. Michel is one of Thomas’s friends who has moved in with Amy while he sorts things out with his boyfriend.
He’d met Amy before, but was surprised to see how much weight she’d gained in the mean time. Amy admitted that she enjoyed the weight gain, and Michel was intrigued. He’s been helping Amy gain ever since.
Of course, Amy and Thomas wanted him to meet me and Ian. Everyone likes to show Ian off. I guess he does meet the definition of fascinating, not many people know someone the size of Ian! His height and weight make for a very imposing person, and that sticks in your mind. Having someone so memorable as a friend gives you a certain cache.
Also, Michel fancies himself a pretty good cook, so Amy wanted him to experience one of my meals. It didn’t quite occur to me, but it’s the first real meal I’ve had with Amy since I started eating big again. Cooking enough for me, Ian, Amy, Thomas and Michel was quite a feat! I had to have side dishes, appetizers and bread just to pad everything out. Luckily, there was enough food, though not a spot of leftovers (of course, Amy and Ian were trying to out do each other, I could’ve made more, and they’d have eaten it).
I do think that Michel enjoyed the spectacle (what else to call it?) I still feel like a lightweight when I’m eating with Ian and Amy. The days where *I* was the big eater seem to be a fading dream to me. I know it happened, but… so far away, like something I saw.
The funny thing is, after seeing Shelley on the weekend, I’ve got some good memories of time with her. She’d taken a lot of classes that I’d had, so she helped me with my assignments. It was good, spending time with her. I remember how sleek and powerful she was, what it felt like to be in her embrace. She always made me feel good, and it was sad when we decided to move on.
I really want to see her again, the weekend just sort of whet my appetite. We’ve both changed so much, I want to just talk about it with her.
But, back to Amy’s dinner ;-)
It was fun seeing her eat, she really was showing off for Michel. It’s weird to see that, because it’s different from how she competes with Ian. Maybe she was like it before, and I didn’t notice. It’s even hard to explain, so maybe it was me who saw something that I hadn’t seen before.
The funniest thing was the timing. Her scale goes to 330, and Wednesday was her first weighin above 330. She’ll be coming to our place for dinner every Wednesday so she can weigh in now. For the record, she’s 332 pounds.
While we’re at it, Ian’s at another all time high of 520. I hope we’ve got a good gaining streak going for him!
I’m surprised I didn’t gain at all. I sure felt like a pig all week, but I’m steady at 268. Maybe I’m subconsciously giving Ian a chance to catch up… but he should be at 536 by now!
Wednesday I got to meet Michel. Michel is one of Thomas’s friends who has moved in with Amy while he sorts things out with his boyfriend.
He’d met Amy before, but was surprised to see how much weight she’d gained in the mean time. Amy admitted that she enjoyed the weight gain, and Michel was intrigued. He’s been helping Amy gain ever since.
Of course, Amy and Thomas wanted him to meet me and Ian. Everyone likes to show Ian off. I guess he does meet the definition of fascinating, not many people know someone the size of Ian! His height and weight make for a very imposing person, and that sticks in your mind. Having someone so memorable as a friend gives you a certain cache.
Also, Michel fancies himself a pretty good cook, so Amy wanted him to experience one of my meals. It didn’t quite occur to me, but it’s the first real meal I’ve had with Amy since I started eating big again. Cooking enough for me, Ian, Amy, Thomas and Michel was quite a feat! I had to have side dishes, appetizers and bread just to pad everything out. Luckily, there was enough food, though not a spot of leftovers (of course, Amy and Ian were trying to out do each other, I could’ve made more, and they’d have eaten it).
I do think that Michel enjoyed the spectacle (what else to call it?) I still feel like a lightweight when I’m eating with Ian and Amy. The days where *I* was the big eater seem to be a fading dream to me. I know it happened, but… so far away, like something I saw.
The funny thing is, after seeing Shelley on the weekend, I’ve got some good memories of time with her. She’d taken a lot of classes that I’d had, so she helped me with my assignments. It was good, spending time with her. I remember how sleek and powerful she was, what it felt like to be in her embrace. She always made me feel good, and it was sad when we decided to move on.
I really want to see her again, the weekend just sort of whet my appetite. We’ve both changed so much, I want to just talk about it with her.
But, back to Amy’s dinner ;-)
It was fun seeing her eat, she really was showing off for Michel. It’s weird to see that, because it’s different from how she competes with Ian. Maybe she was like it before, and I didn’t notice. It’s even hard to explain, so maybe it was me who saw something that I hadn’t seen before.
The funniest thing was the timing. Her scale goes to 330, and Wednesday was her first weighin above 330. She’ll be coming to our place for dinner every Wednesday so she can weigh in now. For the record, she’s 332 pounds.
While we’re at it, Ian’s at another all time high of 520. I hope we’ve got a good gaining streak going for him!
I’m surprised I didn’t gain at all. I sure felt like a pig all week, but I’m steady at 268. Maybe I’m subconsciously giving Ian a chance to catch up… but he should be at 536 by now!
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
The Fat is Back
Changing your lifestyle always produces some unexpected results.
Now that I’m back to overindulging, my body’s already started to adapt. Going a few hours without eating brings on the tummy rumbles, I gotta eat! Quite embarrassing at work to be helping a customer and my stomach is making its presence known.
Another consequence is my kitchen’s getting a tad disorganised. By ‘tad’ I mean it looks like a war zone. Last night I got home from work, cooked up some pork chops, asparagus and rice. It was good, there was a lot of rice to make sure Ian and I were both full. This morning, when I went into the kitchen to whip up some pancakes, all the dishes from last night were still out! Of course, what did I expect? After dinner Ian and I just sat on the couch, too stuffed to move.
Not that there’s a problem, per se, I just need to start adapting. I need to plan ahead to leave time to clean up. I need to make sure I have snacks when I can. No big deal.
There are, of course, the good parts: I missed just sitting on the couch too stuffed to move! It’s a very powerful feeling, being so in tune with your body, and your body loudly proclaiming that it wants to just rest. I missed finishing my plate, and then filling it up again, there’s a profound sense of accomplishment to be had there.
I am feeling the changes, slowly, in my body. Or maybe I just THINK I am. It’s the same thing, so why quibble? I’m getting that extra wiggle back in my step. My tummy’s getting a bit bigger again. And the roundness is filling out my face again.
Now that I’m back to overindulging, my body’s already started to adapt. Going a few hours without eating brings on the tummy rumbles, I gotta eat! Quite embarrassing at work to be helping a customer and my stomach is making its presence known.
Another consequence is my kitchen’s getting a tad disorganised. By ‘tad’ I mean it looks like a war zone. Last night I got home from work, cooked up some pork chops, asparagus and rice. It was good, there was a lot of rice to make sure Ian and I were both full. This morning, when I went into the kitchen to whip up some pancakes, all the dishes from last night were still out! Of course, what did I expect? After dinner Ian and I just sat on the couch, too stuffed to move.
Not that there’s a problem, per se, I just need to start adapting. I need to plan ahead to leave time to clean up. I need to make sure I have snacks when I can. No big deal.
There are, of course, the good parts: I missed just sitting on the couch too stuffed to move! It’s a very powerful feeling, being so in tune with your body, and your body loudly proclaiming that it wants to just rest. I missed finishing my plate, and then filling it up again, there’s a profound sense of accomplishment to be had there.
I am feeling the changes, slowly, in my body. Or maybe I just THINK I am. It’s the same thing, so why quibble? I’m getting that extra wiggle back in my step. My tummy’s getting a bit bigger again. And the roundness is filling out my face again.
Monday, August 23, 2004
Shelley's 30th
It was good to see Shelley again. I can’t believe it’s been 5 years since I saw her last! She’s doing so well, working at the National Gallery. I’m so envious of her. And she knows it, lol.
It’s funny, she seems to have changed a lot, except, deep down, even though I only got to talk to her for a little bit, she’s the same she always was. That’s good though. She was always a great person. She’s more of a perfectionist than I am, except she’s more constructive than I am. She’s more than happy to help someone else achieve perfection, and let you know if you’re not.
I was worried what she’d think about my weight. She was always so fanatically fit, I wasn’t sure what she’d think about my weight, or, worse, Ian’s weight. She was curious, but that was about it. I think she may have just set it aside. Tough to tell. We just didn’t get enough time together!
If she was surprised at how I’ve changed, I was just as surprised at how she’s changed, she’s become quite large. Not like me though, but muscular. Sure, she was strong before, but she’s gotten into bodybuilding! I know a lot of people aren’t into women who are super muscular, so in some ways, I bet she has the same experiences I do. I wished so badly to have some time alone to talk with her about it!
The BBQ went pretty good. None of the people I knew could make it, but she’s got some great friends. It was an odd split, half of them were from the gallery, half were from her gym. I obviously fit into the former clique much better than the latter. Poor Ian didn’t fit in anywhere. He can talk fitness, of course, but no one’s going to listen to him about it any more!
My big regret is not going TO the museum at all. We weren’t there long enough, and I don’t know if Ian would have been up for it. Maybe I’ll run up to Ottawa myself, spend some time with Shelley and give the museum a long overdue visit. A few of her friends were great to talk with, I’d love to see them again too.
My other regret is I feel like I neglected Ian. 12 hours in the car just doesn’t suit him, and we hardly ate at all over the weekend. I should have left him behind in London to go to the Taste of London festival with Amy. He’d have liked that more, I’m sure. But if I can’t show off my new husband, what’s the point of being married?
It’s funny, she seems to have changed a lot, except, deep down, even though I only got to talk to her for a little bit, she’s the same she always was. That’s good though. She was always a great person. She’s more of a perfectionist than I am, except she’s more constructive than I am. She’s more than happy to help someone else achieve perfection, and let you know if you’re not.
I was worried what she’d think about my weight. She was always so fanatically fit, I wasn’t sure what she’d think about my weight, or, worse, Ian’s weight. She was curious, but that was about it. I think she may have just set it aside. Tough to tell. We just didn’t get enough time together!
If she was surprised at how I’ve changed, I was just as surprised at how she’s changed, she’s become quite large. Not like me though, but muscular. Sure, she was strong before, but she’s gotten into bodybuilding! I know a lot of people aren’t into women who are super muscular, so in some ways, I bet she has the same experiences I do. I wished so badly to have some time alone to talk with her about it!
The BBQ went pretty good. None of the people I knew could make it, but she’s got some great friends. It was an odd split, half of them were from the gallery, half were from her gym. I obviously fit into the former clique much better than the latter. Poor Ian didn’t fit in anywhere. He can talk fitness, of course, but no one’s going to listen to him about it any more!
My big regret is not going TO the museum at all. We weren’t there long enough, and I don’t know if Ian would have been up for it. Maybe I’ll run up to Ottawa myself, spend some time with Shelley and give the museum a long overdue visit. A few of her friends were great to talk with, I’d love to see them again too.
My other regret is I feel like I neglected Ian. 12 hours in the car just doesn’t suit him, and we hardly ate at all over the weekend. I should have left him behind in London to go to the Taste of London festival with Amy. He’d have liked that more, I’m sure. But if I can’t show off my new husband, what’s the point of being married?
Thursday, August 19, 2004
Reverse Anorexia?
I’ve heard that bodybuilders can be diagnosed with a ‘reverse anorexia’; no matter how big these guys get, they see a 98 pound weakling in the mirror and try to become bigger.
Can the same be said of gainers?
Lately I’ve been feeling skinny. I certainly understand that, at 268 pounds, the people who would agree with me are far and few between. On the other hand, it’s what I’m feeling, so it’s not a trivial matter to me.
Now, I do remember days where the thought of eating something terrified me. I knew that if I ate, my body just might store it as fat somewhere. I’ve gotten over that, and then some. Perhaps there’s a part of me that just doesn’t like the idea of being happy.
However, the fact remains, as I lost weight, it felt good. My body changed in positive ways. I had more energy, better balance, I felt that I could DO more. So even though I’d reach my goals, I’d lose more weight. Well, lately the changes haven’t been all that noticeable. No more energy, no more bounce in my step, nothing. I’ve definitely reached the point that I’d hoped to reach.
But now I miss the jiggle.
So, I’m working my way back upto 280. My appetite isn’t at the levels it once was, and it’s certainly nothing compared to Ian’s. But I’ll get there, and hopefully stay there for a while: until I get pregnant.
Of course, I need to work on getting Ian back to twice my weight. 560 should look just about perfect on him.
Can the same be said of gainers?
Lately I’ve been feeling skinny. I certainly understand that, at 268 pounds, the people who would agree with me are far and few between. On the other hand, it’s what I’m feeling, so it’s not a trivial matter to me.
Now, I do remember days where the thought of eating something terrified me. I knew that if I ate, my body just might store it as fat somewhere. I’ve gotten over that, and then some. Perhaps there’s a part of me that just doesn’t like the idea of being happy.
However, the fact remains, as I lost weight, it felt good. My body changed in positive ways. I had more energy, better balance, I felt that I could DO more. So even though I’d reach my goals, I’d lose more weight. Well, lately the changes haven’t been all that noticeable. No more energy, no more bounce in my step, nothing. I’ve definitely reached the point that I’d hoped to reach.
But now I miss the jiggle.
So, I’m working my way back upto 280. My appetite isn’t at the levels it once was, and it’s certainly nothing compared to Ian’s. But I’ll get there, and hopefully stay there for a while: until I get pregnant.
Of course, I need to work on getting Ian back to twice my weight. 560 should look just about perfect on him.
Friday, August 13, 2004
It occurs to me...
... I don’t know the rules for being married!
Does it make a difference? Probably not.
Should we have goals?
I think so. I think that my goal is to get Ian to 550 pounds by year end. At the very least, get him back to twice my weight!
Does it make a difference? Probably not.
Should we have goals?
I think so. I think that my goal is to get Ian to 550 pounds by year end. At the very least, get him back to twice my weight!
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
What a difference a couple of weeks makes.
In July I was down to 259 pounds. In two weeks I gained 7 pounds! It seems married life agrees with me. Or more likely buffets aboard ship do! Curiously, Ian is down 2 pounds. I think the heat and the walking took a lot more out of him than it did me.
I thought about writing about our cruise here, but decided against it. It was just such an incredible experience, if I write it down, I’ll miss part of it, focus on parts, the whole event will become a distorted memory, and that’s not what I want it to be. It was a week for just me and Ian. We’ve never been happier, and that’s that.
Coming home a ‘big’ surprise was Amy. We were only gone a week, but she seemed to have gained a lot of weight in that time. She’s already at the point where ‘a lot’ of weight is hardly noticeable on her, so to gain that much in a week, well, that’s something. Thomas has decided to go on board with the ‘feeding’ thing, and I guess he went all out! The effects certainly show on her.
Last night she was over at our place for dinner though. One of Thomas’s friends had a blow up with his boyfriend, so Thomas offered Amy’s place as a place he could stay. Amy’s a good friend, so she said yes. Of course, having an interloper kind of put the kibosh on her eating. So she was over last night for dinner, and I was certainly more than happy to oblige. It was the first time I’ve gotten to really spend with her since getting married!
I cooked up a huge amount of pasta for them to eat, but it wasn’t enough. I guess I’m a little out of practise, although I’m sure she ate more than I thought she could. Of course, that’s what ice cream is for. We all had a huge ice cream sundae. I’m sure those 7 pounds I gained are here to stay.
I thought about writing about our cruise here, but decided against it. It was just such an incredible experience, if I write it down, I’ll miss part of it, focus on parts, the whole event will become a distorted memory, and that’s not what I want it to be. It was a week for just me and Ian. We’ve never been happier, and that’s that.
Coming home a ‘big’ surprise was Amy. We were only gone a week, but she seemed to have gained a lot of weight in that time. She’s already at the point where ‘a lot’ of weight is hardly noticeable on her, so to gain that much in a week, well, that’s something. Thomas has decided to go on board with the ‘feeding’ thing, and I guess he went all out! The effects certainly show on her.
Last night she was over at our place for dinner though. One of Thomas’s friends had a blow up with his boyfriend, so Thomas offered Amy’s place as a place he could stay. Amy’s a good friend, so she said yes. Of course, having an interloper kind of put the kibosh on her eating. So she was over last night for dinner, and I was certainly more than happy to oblige. It was the first time I’ve gotten to really spend with her since getting married!
I cooked up a huge amount of pasta for them to eat, but it wasn’t enough. I guess I’m a little out of practise, although I’m sure she ate more than I thought she could. Of course, that’s what ice cream is for. We all had a huge ice cream sundae. I’m sure those 7 pounds I gained are here to stay.
Monday, August 09, 2004
We're Married!
We're married ;-)
Sorry if you're finding out this way, and not some other way. Being gone for a week, and having such an awesome time and having so much to do, even the most obvious things are slipping my mind (thank GOD that I breath automatically!)
I completely surprised Ian with it. I knew he had a week off, and I'd intentionally told him not to plan anything. He knew I had a surprise, but he had no idea we were going on a Carribean cruise!
Even less did he know that I'd founda small chappel in Cozumel that would do weddings! Just me, him, and a vaguely Aztec ruin. He was so surprised. Been a while since I've actually seen Ian cry, but he was so happy.
I'd love to write more about the cruise. We had a great time, although in retrospect, a couple fat Canucks in the tropics in August wasn't the best idea I've ever had... but that's such a tiny complaint that who cares.
I just needed to write this down.
I'm so happy!
