Monday, March 31, 2008

Annie and Shawn (A Matt and Annie Story)

Annie hated Shawn from the minute they met. Shawn was tall, good looking, charming and fit. He exercised regularly, and watched what he ate. Annie had dated men just like him for years, which made it easy to hate him as soon as they met.

Annie herself was a tall woman, good looking, charming and fit. It was only natural for her to date men like her: it's what everyone expected. She was only approached by men like that, and all her friends said she should go out with men like that. For years she endured tedious dates and excruciating relationships because she didn't WANT a tall, good looking, charming, fit guy. She had nothing against tall, charming and good looking. It was the fit she had a problem with.

She couldn't really understand why she didn't like fit men. She certainly never talked about it with anyone. She could just imagine how mortified her friends would be to find out that a woman as 'perfect' as her might find something less common as her perfect match. She'd secretly watch fat men as they went by on the street. She'd peer at the tabloids as pictures of such and such actor gaining 20 or 30 pounds were published and sigh that she had no one to share this with, much less her own boyfriend who fit this ideal.

Shawn certainly didn't stray far from Annie's expectations over the time they got to know each other. They worked in different departments, but Shawn's breaks always coincided with hers. He found plenty of reasons to be wandering by her desk and finding a moment to chat. Annie knew she was the subject of jealousy among the women she worked with. She also knew that Shawn wasn't doing anything wrong per se. He would talk about the round of golf he had on the weekend, or how many reps he was curling, or who he beat on the squash court. He even told her about dates that he went on, always implying that the women never measured up to Annie. He never asked her out directly, but she felt like she was always saying 'no' to him anyway.

Annie's personal life had dried up a little bit. She was tired of dating men like Shawn, but she was having trouble meeting anyone else to date. Whenever she went out, she was approached by the sort of guys she didn't like. On the rare occasions she approached more ideal men, they seemed so awkward, almost like she was putting them on. It was hard to have fun, and she was tired of dates without fun. Shawn always asked about her dates, and she always lied about how great they were, and that she was just having fun, not looking for anything serious.

When Annie finally met Matt at a party, they'd hit it off so well. He was tall, charming and good looking. He was not fit, not by a long shot. Some people might've called him fat, but to Annie, he was just a little chubby. Annie took things slowly with Matt, just being friends for a while. Going out to movies together, going out for dinner with friends.

With the fun back in her life, Annie started dating the charming pretty boys again. She didn't have a lot of fun with them, but it allowed her to keep up appearances, and by actually running into Shawn a few times on his own dates, she hoped that might throw him off.

Annie's plan backfired though. When Shawn saw the men that Annie was 'dating', he just tried harder to win her over. She could see that he felt they were perfect together, and nothing was going to dissuade him.

Eventually Annie decided it was time to date Matt for real. She was worried he'd get all weird for going out with a 'beautiful girl', and he did. Alone they were great, she had a lot of fun, but whenever they went out, he was a nervous wreck, as though someone was going to come along and take her away. What Annie liked best about dating Matt though was that he was so smitten with her, it was easy to get him to eat more. After dating for a few months he really was going from chubby to fat.

Shawn and Annie's co-workers eventually caught on that Annie was dating someone, and they all wanted to meet him. Annie was shy about revealing her secret. For so long she had hidden her desire to date a fat guy, it was just something she didn't discuss. She also knew that if Matt were to meet any of her co-workers, he would probably be scorned right away, which would probably drive him away from her. Matt would remain a mystery man to Shawn.

Over time Matt's self doubts about being too fat for Annie conflicted with Annie's secret desires for him to be fatter, and their relationship came to a crash. Annie was devastated. She'd known that she'd blown it with him, and just wished things had gone differently, but even now it was hard for her to freely admit to anyone what she really wanted out of life.

News of Annie's break-up and subsequent despondency moved quickly through the office. Annie was dreading Shawn's reaction more than most. Again, he was as predicable as clockwork. He was Annie's shoulder to cry on. He was there to tell her how special she was, and how Matt didn't deserve her. He was there to let Annie know it was time to move on to the best: Shawn.

What did surprise Annie was that she said yes to Shawn. Anyone who had seen them interacting was surprised. Even Shawn had grown to accept their relationship as something that would never happen. Annie wasn't sure why she wanted to be with Shawn. It was probably a combination of old habits, and simply no energy to ward him off any more. Things just hadn't worked with her dream man, maybe things would work better with the man she was supposed to end up with.

It took only one date with Shawn for Annie to come to her senses and realise that he wasn't going to be the path to happiness. One thing that surprised Annie about the date was how full she was. She'd gotten into the habit of ordering a lot to eat in order to surreptitiously getting Matt to eat it. Since she wasn't slipping food to Shawn, she'd eaten the whole meal herself, including dessert. Leaving the restaurant she was uncomfortably full, and parted with Shawn, just saying that she didn't want to take things too fast.

The next day Annie was feeling much better about herself. Everyone assumed that dating Shawn had done wonders for her. While it was true that her date had opened Annie's eyes, it had nothing to do with Shawn, but rather the sensation of a full stomach after a meal. She'd always been fit, slim, and athletic. She'd always watched what she ate, and ensured that her exercise would offset any treats she had. As much as she'd been getting Matt to eat, she hadn't realised how good it felt to really eat!

Annie immediately had a lunch date with Shawn. Again she ordered a full meal that left her stuffed and satisfied for the whole afternoon. She went on another date with Shawn and had an eye towards getting the biggest dinner she could. In fact, Annie began dating Shawn often, always ordering a big meal, and always heading home alone, stuffed and satisfied.

Annie enjoyed the feeling of being full so much that she was having bigger breakfasts, picking up snack food to eat in the evening after her dates with Shawn.

It didn't take long for Shawn and Annie's image conscious co-workers to notice that her clothes were getting a little tight. They didn't say anything to Annie right away; she was coming off a big break-up. Shawn didn't want to upset her, and her friends were worried how she might express herself if they took her to task for gaining a few pounds.

Before long Annie's gains were impossible to ignore. Her clothes were straining at the buttons and seams to contain her. Shawn had realised how much she was eating together and wondered if she was eating more when she was alone. He invited her to his place and intentionally made a large dinner. He knew there was enough food to feed four people, but Annie managed to eat for three before they were done.

Shawn finally brought it up, wondering if maybe there was something she was trying to work through. He offered her his support. He offered to help her setup a diet and an exercise plan. He was going to be there for her, and help her work through it.

Knowing that Shawn had noticed her weight gain, and disapproved of it, made it much more fun for Annie. Her appetite increased as a result. She had midnight snacks, she woke up earlier and earlier, hungrier and hungrier. At work she had a stash of snacks in her drawer. She even finally bought a bigger size of clothes because her old ones were just too tight to be comfortable.

Her co-workers couldn't help but notice her flowing clothes. They were concerned that the new clothes were an acceptance by Annie of gaining weight and not losing it. They tried to stop her from snacking at work. Having to sneak her snacks at work made them more delicious to Annie. Even though it was a lot of work to get in her private snacks without anyone finding out, Annie made the time for it, and was soon eating more than she was working.

On their dates Shawn began ordering for Annie, ensuring she was 'eating right'. She still managed to go through basket after basket of bread, sneak food from his plate and generally eat far more than Shawn could notice. She would stop for fast food on her way home, or order ahead to have a pizza waiting when she got home.

Eventually Annie's appetite became un-containable. She would constantly snack at work, ignoring her co-workers protests about what she was doing to herself. With Shawn she'd order for herself, and often insist on visiting buffets. Sometimes they'd even stay in and she'd order a few pizzas. Her weight skyrocketed and she continued to buy larger and larger clothes.

Finally, after three months, Shawn had had enough. Annie had simply gotten too fat that she didn't deserve to date a guy like him. Annie smiled as she finished off her third pizza. That's all she'd wanted to hear.

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Saturday, March 29, 2008

Karen and Michael: The New Girl

Karen had gotten to the club rather early this particular Thursday. The outfit she had on was much tighter than she'd thought it would be, and she didn't want to give her roommates a chance to taunt her about it. She didn't really mind gaining weight, but she was still self conscious about it around her lithe roommates.

She caught Tim, the bartender, by surprise; normally he had a drink and a small snack ready for her, but he was still setting up when she walked up to the bar. He smiled at her and headed over to get her a drink, "to what do I owe the pleasure of such an early visit?"

Karen sighed as she took her drink, "I just needed to get out. I don't fit in at home so much any more, but I feel better here."

Tim nodded knowingly. He tended bars on the weekends too, and he knew Karen's friends who came in on those nights. "Yeah, I know what you mean. Some people just can't appreciate good curves like yours."

Karen smiled back, "thanks, but when is Michael going to notice?"

"Oh, you've still got a while to go before he's going to pay you much notice." Tim looked her up and down, taking in how tight her outfit really was, "on the other hand, you are progressing quite nicely!"

Tim continued to set up the bar as the rest of the staff got the club ready for the night. Slowly people trickled in as the lights went down and the music was turned up.

Just as Karen was ready to head to the dance floor, a group of girls came in. A few of them were chubby, but none of them very big, maybe a few pounds bigger than Karen. One of them was quite slim though, and reminded her of the friends she'd left back home. "Who's the twinkie?" she asked to Tim.

He laughed, "They used to call you that you know."

Karen turned to look at Tim, not sure what to think.

He continued, "They started coming in Fridays about when you stopped. Most of 'em were gaining weight, not having much luck, so I told them to try Thursdays. Figured they'd be happier. Didn't think the twinkie would come though. But I've been surprised before." He winked at Karen again as she headed out to the dance floor.


***

Karen waddled up to the bar, catching Tim by surprise. Normally he didn't expect her until much later, once the lights were down and the music was pumping. He was still setting up.

"And to what do I owe the pleasure of an early visit?" he asked while getting her a drink ready.

"The grocery shopping didn't get done this week! I didn't have anything for dinner, I was wondering if you could hook me up?"

"Well," Tim thought for a moment, "the kitchen is just getting going. I haven't even put in your order yet. They're normally pretty busy Thursdays, I'm sure they'll have something together for you, if you want to wait a few minutes."

"You're the best Tim!" she called as he headed back to help her out.

He came back a few minutes later with a double cheeseburger and fries. He set it down and pointed at the empty pretzel bowls in front of Karen, "Hey, I just filled those!"

Karen just grinned as she reached for the burger.

Tim came around from behind the bar to help getting the club ready Karen could hear him stop behind her. She turned and saw his mouth slightly agape. "What's the matter? Did I pop a seam?"

"I, uh," Tim stammered for a moment. "I just haven't seen you in the full light in a long time, I'm just a little shocked to see how big you've gotten! And sitting down, my God, you've gotten so wide!"

Karen smiled, "thank you!" and then turned back to her burger.

Karen kept Tim company as the lights went down and the music came on. People started to come into the bar. They both knew it would be a while before Michael came, and so it would be a while before Karen started dancing on the risers. The kitchen was ready for her though, and she was well fed as the evening wore on.

About the time that she would normally arrive Karen turned around to survey the bar. Plenty of guys had their eyes on her. She was used to that, but a lot of other guys were watching a girl on the risers. She was dancing pretty well, better than the other girls up there. Her clothes were tight, as though she was about to outgrow them. She was also quite large. Not in Karen's class, but not very far off. She turned to Tim, "Who's that there?"

"You don't remember her?"

Karen shook her head.

"She started coming in here a while ago, with her friends." Tim pointed at a knot of chubby girls talking with some guys.

Karen recognised them immediately. "What happened to the Twinkie who used to hang out with them?"

"Who do you think's dancing on the riser?"

Karen looked. Sure enough, now that she got a good look at her, there was a glimmer of recognition. "How come I haven't seen her before?"

"She normally clears off before you get here."

"I can't believe she got so fat so fast!"

Tim just smiled and winked at her.

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Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Matt and Annie: A New Life

Annie spent the next week staying in at his apartment... their apartment. She just wore a robe that she'd bought him a while ago. When she'd bought it, it seemed huge, but it was tight on him now, and he wasn't sure if she could tie it up or not. He certainly didn't mind seeing her sitting on the couch with her belly and breasts hanging out.

Even though Matt was learning how much Annie could eat, he was still surprised. They had breakfast together each morning, but she was still eating full steam when he left for work. She was always eating something when he got home too. Based on how quickly the fridge and pantry emptied, Matt could believe that Annie was eating the whole time he was gone. Despite a full day of eating, she was always hungry for dinner, often having a serving or two more than Matt, and usually finishing off anything he couldn't. During the course of the evening she would try to coax him into snacking more, but when he was full to capacity, she would finish off anything that was still lying around.

Every day when he got home, Annie seemed to be getting bigger too. Her belly protruded further, her breasts forcing the robe further open. It took her longer to struggle to her feet to greet him. She even took up more space in the bed at night.

At the end of the first week of living together, Matt was awoken by the mattress dropping as Annie got back into bed. "Is anything the matter?" he asked.

"No, I was just a little hungry," she mumbled, her mouth full of cookies.

Matt looked over at the clock. As he rolled, he realised he was still completely full. "We only went to bed 2 hours ago. I'm still stuffed after all that ice cream!"

Annie smiled, "you ate so much baby, I'm so proud of you."

"But you ate more."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure, you ate 20 minutes longer than I did."

Annie thought a moment, "I didn't realise that. I just finished up what I had. It wasn't that much really."

"Not that much?" Matt was stunned. Was she playing with him?

"No, I was still hungry, really. I'm hungry now, really. We're out of cookies," she sighed.

"There's a new pack in the pantry, on the middle shelf. I'll go get it." Matt slowly turned to sit up, trying not to disturb the contents of his stomach too much.

"No, that pack is empty, I just had the last one."

"The last one?" Matt turned to her, "is this how it's going to be then?"

"How is what going to be? Matt?" She could tell there was a twinge of anger, or perhaps frustration in Matt's voice.

"I mean, are you going to always eat this much? Is that how it's going to be?"

"It was just a few cookies Matt. You can buy more tomorrow."

"But Annie," Matt really wanted to get to sleep and let his stomach settle, but he needed to know. "all you do is eat. A whole pack of cookies after finishing a carton of ice cream?"

"I don't ALWAYS eat," she replied in a hurt tone. "I just eat when I'm hungry."

"Then Annie," Matt paused, "I think you're always hungry. You've been here a week, and all you do is watch TV and eat!"

Annie's voice dropped to a whisper, "what else can I do? I don't have anything to wear out, remember?"

"So you're just going to keep eating? Getting fatter?"

"Fatter? Look who's talking, you're taking up half the bed!"

"At least I can wait until morning to have something more to eat!"

"You want to know how it's going to be? I'll show you how it's going to be." Annie grabbed the phone beside the bed and ordered a dozen pizzas. She turned to Matt, "That ought to last me until morning."

It took Matt a while to fall back asleep. He hadn't meant to fight with Annie, he's not sure what he'd meant. He wanted to go after her, but he was too full to follow her, and couldn't figure out what to say if he did. Even though his mind was racing, he fell asleep quickly so his body could process the food still filling his stomach.

The next morning Annie was asleep on the couch, his robe wide open, a half empty pizza box balanced on her stomach, and several empty pizza boxes strewn around, with 4 pizzas still untouched. She was breathing heavily, but otherwise barely moving. Matt wanted to apologise to her, but didn't know what to say. He decided it was best to just leave her be and he went off to work.

During the day Matt continued to think about Annie, hardly getting any work done really. He realised how tough it must be for her, adapting to a new place, and being essentially trapped there. Hopefully things would become more normal once she had her clothes and was back working. He picked up some flowers and also, on second thought, some chocolates. He was going to simply apologise for not appreciating the sacrifices she was making for him.

Once again Annie managed to shock Matt when he came home. She was on the couch, but she was asleep, rather than eating. Rather than wearing her robe she was wearing pants and a shirt that were obviously too tight. When he closed the door she woke up and looked at Matt. She smiled when she saw the flowers, but her whole face lit up when she saw the chocolates.

"Look, Annie, I'm sorry, I..."

She interrupted, "yeah yeah, just gimme the chocolate and all is forgiven." After a few moments she remembered something, her mouth still full of chocolate, "Oh yeah, I uh... need to order bigger clothes. These aren't as big as I thought they'd be."

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Monday, March 24, 2008

Byline: The Fat Life - Week 10

As I've settled into my new life of sedentary overeating, tightening clothes and excessive jiggling, it was difficult to generate weekly updates with hard hitting insights, so the column has shifted focus to being a monthly feature. Luckily I've been able to cover for our food critic who has taken time to write his book about European cuisine.

I know that food critics often order several dishes, simply to sample them, so I'm sure it was a surprise when I'd order several dishes and actually finish them. Of course, they wouldn't know that I'd hit the KFC on the way home to really fill up.

My editor is also happy that I can cover 2 columns on one food bill! Maybe I can take over the fashion column to cover all the clothes I've been buying.

I have been buying clothes too, I've popped more buttons over the last month than I'd have thought possible. I shouldn't be too surprised though, in 4 weeks I've put on 12 pounds - 3 pounds a week. My wardrobe is having a hard time keeping up. I don't want to buy too many clothes though, because I won't be 156 pounds for long, and I don't need a closet full of clothes that range from too small to far to small. At the same time, I need enough clothes to get by.

The changes to my body haven't been drastic, but they're far from subtle. Everything on my body is getting bigger, from my cheeks, my arms, my thighs, my bum and (yay) my boobs. Even my tummy, which has never been a flat 'stomach', is maturing from a soft tummy to a round 'belly'. In fact, I've found myself unconsciously rubbing it from time to time like I'm pregnant. Between the expanding bust line and belly, I do wonder if people think I am indeed pregnant.

But I'm not pregnant. I'm just fat. And I'm getting fatter.

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Wednesday, March 05, 2008

The Not So Weekly Weigh In

There's a LOT of snow today! Really killed traffic flow, but everyone got where they needed to go, safe and sound.

House hunting has been going well. It's tough to say exactly what I want, but the more I see, the better idea of what we're going to get is emerging. Originally we'd planned to buy an existing house, but now we're leaning towards building one. It doesn't really cost more, and it's easier to get exactly what you want, and can actually cost less since there's no redecoration, no (expensive) surprises, and the house is under warrantee! The stuff you learn when doing something new eh?

Though it's not really a 'new year' any more, I still think of it that way. The new year has been going well for my new lifestyle. I swim when I can. Sherry has given me some aerobic and light weight exercises I can do on my own too. Being active feels great, and I sort of wish I'd never given it up. I do find myself missing my weight though. I've lost about 40 pounds total, and just don't jiggle like I used to. It's weird feeling my clothes getting looser, rather than tighter, but if that's what I've got to do, that's what I've got to do.

My weight is 480 pounds.

Ian's been keeping busy too. He does a lot more weightlifting now, as well as the treadmill and swimming. He's still busy with work, but again Sherry has given him some exercises he can do on his own. He's down to 347 pounds, and is looking really great now. As much as miss my big soft Ian, I've got to admit I am enamoured with his soft but powerful physique.

I haven't heard much from Amy lately, she's busy with taxes and RSPs and all that accountant stuff. She tells me her weight has been up and down, but finally more up than down. She's bigger than ever now at 543 pounds.

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Saturday, March 01, 2008

Karen and Michael: Thursday Night

Thursday nights had been tough for Karen. For a while she was the smallest girl in the bar, and she could feel the men ignoring her, and the women avoiding her. She danced, of course, and sometimes she had someone to dance with, usually someone who had strayed in unware the bar would be full of fat women. The only thing that kept her coming was knowing that if she didn't, she'd never have the chance to meet Michael, her adonis.

Karen was feeling more welcome now though. She'd put on enough weight that she was larger than several of the women there. She was still far smaller than a lot of the women, but at least she was getting attention from the men there. She was even sure that Michael was checking her out from time to time, even if he wasn't showing any interest yet.

She also enjoyed spending time talking with Tim, the bartender. He was always happy to see her, he always had her drinks ready before she even asked for them. Now that she was eating more, he always had a snack ready for her. He always seemed to have what she was craving, and always enough to fill her up, but not so full she couldn't dance.

This Thursday night was like others recently. She entered the bar wearing an outfit that was half a size too tight, which served to emphasise how large her breasts were becoming, and showing off the curve of her hips, and a strip of flesh poking out around her midriff. She smiled as the men turned to check her out, and the thinner women grimaced at her with jealousy. She ignored the smug looks of the bigger girls, especially those that had the attention of Michael.

Karen headed right over the bar where Tim had a drink and plate of chicken wings ready for her.

"You know, you're starting to fit in here better than you're fitting your clothes!"

Karen smiled as she finished off a wing before answering, "I know guys like tight clothes. They're a pain, but," she smiled and winked at someone who was unabashedly staring," they are worth it!"

Her drink and snack done, Karen finished up her conversation with Tim before heading to the dance floor. She was getting more invitations to dance, but she only took them when she knew that Michael might actually notice her. She liked to dance, but she only wanted to dance for him.

As she'd gotten bigger, Karen's dancing style had changed. The men she danced with liked to be very close, to be in contact with her as much as possible. At first she couldn't understand why, but she started to realise they wanted to feel her soft flesh as they danced. At first this felt very odd to Karen, but it wasn't long before she discovered that dancing with the right guys, their touch really added a lot of intrigue to what would otherwise be a fruitless night.

As much as Karen enjoyed dancing with the men who enjoyed her flab, she was looking forward to what Michael might do with her.

***

Thursday night's were Karen's night. She entered the bar, and she was impossible to miss because of the sheer mass of her body. Karen looked forward to dancing on the risers, which she had earned the right to do over time. What she loved most, though, was that when she entered, she had the undivided attention of Michael, a god among men whose chiselled features, soft touch, and generous nature made him the centre of Thursday nights at the bar.

There were few women in the bar who bigger than Karen now, and those that were, they couldn’t dance like Karen could. She knew that all the men were looking at her covetously, and all the women were jealous that she was larger than they were, or that she was a better dancer than they were. As much as she enjoyed everyone's attention, it was Michael's that she sought, and she had it.

As much as Karen loved to dance for Michael's affections, she also enjoyed starting her evening chatting with Tim at the bar. He always had her drink and tray of mouthwatering food ready to fuel her up for dancing. He always knew how to put a smile on her face speaking with her too.

This Thursday night was special for Karen though. It was her time in since ascending to being 'The Queen' to Michael's King last week. She had what was considered the perfect combination of size and dancing ability. The previous queen, Andrea, had the size - she was one of the few women bigger than Karen - but she no longer could hold a candle to Karen's dancing. Everyone was expecting Karen to be at the top of her game, and she wasn't planning to disappoint. She was wearing the same outfit as the previous week, which now seemed to be impossibly tight on her. It moved and rippled as though a second skin covering her abundant flesh.

Aware that all eyes were on her, Karen slowly waddled over to the bar where Tim had her drink and array of snacks waiting for her. There seemed to be more food than he'd ever set out for her, but she wondered if it would be enough.

Tim looked her up and down, "I remember the first time you had an outfit that tight. It was a size zero or something!"

She momentarily wished she'd put on something looser to make dancing easier, but she didn't own anything looser. "You know you love it," she started into the food he'd put out for her.

Karen sat and ate for half an hour. Tim was still tending bar, but he made small talk when he could. Karen was aware that men were coming over to order just to be close to her, to watch her eating. She always smiled for them. Finally the food was gone, and she decided she was full enough to start dancing.

Karen slowly made her way out to the dance floor, to the riser which was waiting for her. A few men tried to ask her to dance, but she politely turned them down. She was here to perform, and she was going to perform for Michael. All eyes were on her, but the only ones she noticed now were his.

Karen relished being the centre of attention, and had hated the transition from skinny to plump to fat where she was ignored by Michael. Her dancing had changed as her weight continued to balloon. She rather liked dancing more now. Her weight and size did limit how she could dance, but it also dictated how she would dance. By embracing the way her body moved Karen could take it to the limit much easier. It was almost too easy to let her body move itself while she focused her burning desire on Michael's own desire for her.

As she reached exhaustion on the riser, she could see Michael head toward his table. Already it was being filled up with the finest foods the kitchen would have. She stepped down and waddled over to join him for her second binge of the night.

With the food gone, Karen and Michael finally hit the dance floor as King and Queen. He danced very close to her, closer than she'd ever dreamed. She could feel his physique pressing into her soft flesh, and could feel his hands gently exploring the curves and folds of her body.

It was the greatest Thursday of her life.

So far.

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