Tuesday, June 18, 2002
I don’t know why I didn’t see it before.
When I was gaining weight, I enjoyed it. I was loving life, I was indulging myself, I was enjoying the new sensations that a new layer of fat brought about.
So why was I trying to rob this from Ian? I liked how I looked and felt. I didn’t answer to anyone. So when Ian was starting to gain weight; and enjoy it, I hated it! I hated how he looked. I knew it was hypocritical, for a fat woman to be on a fat guy’s case over his weight, but I was. I just couldn’t see what he was feeling! How narrow minded of me, to expect Ian to remain thin while I continued gaining weight as I pleased.
I’ve finally gotten over that. Ian was so great when I first moved in with him. He spoiled me no end. We had all kinds of treats, he would bring me things, he would do all the work around the apartment. Basically, he helped me get fat, and I was denying him the exact same pleasure. The problem was I was so wrapped up in myself, I didn’t appreciate just how much he was enjoying it.
Now I know the joy he was getting out of it. It’s always rewarding to have your efforts pay off. The harder you work, the more satisfying the results. I’ve been spoiling Ian ROTTEN! He gets home from work, he plants himself, and basically all evening he watches TV, plays on his computer or reads. All the while, I’m bringing him the best food I can. A nice pasta dish, a sweet dessert, a bag of chips, fruit, salads, ice cream, anything! I make the grocery runs, I’m doing all the chores in the apartment. I don’t mind. Just making him happy is my reward, for now. Ian did it for me for over a month! I owe him at least that.
Already I can see he’s gained a lot of weight. It’s amasing seeing him blowing up like that. He’s gaining faster than I ever did, he’s gaining faster than Jeri ever did. I don’t know why I didn’t like it before, but I absolutely love how he looks know. Very stately, very solid, very reassuring, almost like a living piece of art. And that is how I see him now. I’ve done paintings, sketched, tried my hand at sculpting, and I even see my cooking as an art form. But now, the most amasing medium of art is Ian’s flesh. I’m helping shape him into something new. I’m helping Ian attain a dream of his. We don’t know how far this will go, but I can keep this up for a while longer. I really do want to push Ian to his limits.
And what are his limits? I know that I’m past mine. 450+ pounds (I’m dying to find out) is just too big. It’s hard on my legs, it’s hard to find comfortable places in public, it’s hard to find clothes. But Ian is taller, there are more fat guy clothes to choose from. I wonder how big he can be before he is too big? Will he exceed 400 pounds? 450 pounds? 500 pounds?
There’s only one way to find out!
When I was gaining weight, I enjoyed it. I was loving life, I was indulging myself, I was enjoying the new sensations that a new layer of fat brought about.
So why was I trying to rob this from Ian? I liked how I looked and felt. I didn’t answer to anyone. So when Ian was starting to gain weight; and enjoy it, I hated it! I hated how he looked. I knew it was hypocritical, for a fat woman to be on a fat guy’s case over his weight, but I was. I just couldn’t see what he was feeling! How narrow minded of me, to expect Ian to remain thin while I continued gaining weight as I pleased.
I’ve finally gotten over that. Ian was so great when I first moved in with him. He spoiled me no end. We had all kinds of treats, he would bring me things, he would do all the work around the apartment. Basically, he helped me get fat, and I was denying him the exact same pleasure. The problem was I was so wrapped up in myself, I didn’t appreciate just how much he was enjoying it.
Now I know the joy he was getting out of it. It’s always rewarding to have your efforts pay off. The harder you work, the more satisfying the results. I’ve been spoiling Ian ROTTEN! He gets home from work, he plants himself, and basically all evening he watches TV, plays on his computer or reads. All the while, I’m bringing him the best food I can. A nice pasta dish, a sweet dessert, a bag of chips, fruit, salads, ice cream, anything! I make the grocery runs, I’m doing all the chores in the apartment. I don’t mind. Just making him happy is my reward, for now. Ian did it for me for over a month! I owe him at least that.
Already I can see he’s gained a lot of weight. It’s amasing seeing him blowing up like that. He’s gaining faster than I ever did, he’s gaining faster than Jeri ever did. I don’t know why I didn’t like it before, but I absolutely love how he looks know. Very stately, very solid, very reassuring, almost like a living piece of art. And that is how I see him now. I’ve done paintings, sketched, tried my hand at sculpting, and I even see my cooking as an art form. But now, the most amasing medium of art is Ian’s flesh. I’m helping shape him into something new. I’m helping Ian attain a dream of his. We don’t know how far this will go, but I can keep this up for a while longer. I really do want to push Ian to his limits.
And what are his limits? I know that I’m past mine. 450+ pounds (I’m dying to find out) is just too big. It’s hard on my legs, it’s hard to find comfortable places in public, it’s hard to find clothes. But Ian is taller, there are more fat guy clothes to choose from. I wonder how big he can be before he is too big? Will he exceed 400 pounds? 450 pounds? 500 pounds?
There’s only one way to find out!
// posted by Charlotte @ 1:49:00 PM 
