Friday, February 28, 2003
Finally, something interesting to write!
Ian surprised me with a midweek trip to Niagra Falls! He knew I had Wednesday and Thursday off, so he took them off, zipped down to London Tuesday night and off we went.
Actually, we spent Tuesday night at Ian’s place in Toronto. We wanted to do our Wednesday morning weigh in ;-). Ian weighed in exactly how he had last week, 440 pounds. However, here’s where things get interesting: I weighed 440 pounds too!
That’s right, I’M NO LONGER BIGGER THAN IAN! Because he’s taller, I’m still technically fatter though. But still, straight up… woohoo!
So, we drove off to Niagra Falls. I know, I’ve been there with just about every guy I’ve dated for more than 5 minutes, but it’s close, and it is nice, if you go to the right places! It has been a while since I went. And this was the first time I actually went to the casino!
The casino was pretty cool, we actually came out $500 ahead. No idea how that happened, but still, it was a lot of fun hanging out in there, playing the slots and Ian played some other games.
We didn’t spend much time eating, but the hotel was so nice, we had a tub big enough for the two of us, and that was an absolutely incredible experience! Once we get married, we’re definitely getting a tub for tubbies in our house.
It was a lot of fun, very romantic. I wish we’d had a chance to eat more, I want Ian to get bigger than me! But, to be honest, I wouldn’t have traded a minute away, I guess I just wanted more time.
I haven’t weighed myself since I was 451… still thought I was 450ish. I’m very happy that I’m finally losing some weight.
But I’m more happy that I got to spend some time with Ian before he goes to Nashville again!
Ian surprised me with a midweek trip to Niagra Falls! He knew I had Wednesday and Thursday off, so he took them off, zipped down to London Tuesday night and off we went.
Actually, we spent Tuesday night at Ian’s place in Toronto. We wanted to do our Wednesday morning weigh in ;-). Ian weighed in exactly how he had last week, 440 pounds. However, here’s where things get interesting: I weighed 440 pounds too!
That’s right, I’M NO LONGER BIGGER THAN IAN! Because he’s taller, I’m still technically fatter though. But still, straight up… woohoo!
So, we drove off to Niagra Falls. I know, I’ve been there with just about every guy I’ve dated for more than 5 minutes, but it’s close, and it is nice, if you go to the right places! It has been a while since I went. And this was the first time I actually went to the casino!
The casino was pretty cool, we actually came out $500 ahead. No idea how that happened, but still, it was a lot of fun hanging out in there, playing the slots and Ian played some other games.
We didn’t spend much time eating, but the hotel was so nice, we had a tub big enough for the two of us, and that was an absolutely incredible experience! Once we get married, we’re definitely getting a tub for tubbies in our house.
It was a lot of fun, very romantic. I wish we’d had a chance to eat more, I want Ian to get bigger than me! But, to be honest, I wouldn’t have traded a minute away, I guess I just wanted more time.
I haven’t weighed myself since I was 451… still thought I was 450ish. I’m very happy that I’m finally losing some weight.
But I’m more happy that I got to spend some time with Ian before he goes to Nashville again!
Tuesday, February 25, 2003
Dimensions
I was chatting with someone I’d met on Dimensions last night.
What’s Dimensions? It’s a magazine/website that is geared towards the ‘plus sized community’: fat people, and the people who love them ;-)
I am a certified fat person. It’s nice to chat with people who have the same world outlook that I have. I don’t do it all the time, but it’s still nice.
There are a few key terms to understanding this ‘world’. BBW = Big Beautiful Woman. A nice way of saying ‘fat chick’. BHM would be a Big Handsome Man, or ‘fat guy’. There is some debate about the terminology, after all, can’t there be women who are fat and ugly? Or men who are big but not handsome? It doesn’t matter, it’s the terms used, and they’re fine with me.
Another term is ‘FA’. This refers to a Fat Admirer, someone who prefers women to be BBWs. Then there is FFA, this would be a woman who prefers men to be BHM. I never had myself pegged as an FFA, and yet Ian does make quite the BHM, so, I guess I’m both a BBW and a FFA.
Still with me?
In this world there is a further subculture (isn’t there always?); it’s called ‘feederism’. Basically the idea is that you get your partner to gain weight for pleasure. This is hotly debated topic. We all ‘know’ fat is unhealthy, and generally socially unacceptable. Forcing someone to be fat would be wrong! Of course, forcing someone to do anything is generally wrong (I have no problem forcing people to not kill though…)
Anyway, I was discussing my weight gain with my friend from Dimensions.
He asked if I had gained weight on purpose. I did not. I did overeat on purpose. I had spent a long time eating little, it was nice to change that, and felt really good going from one extreme to the other. I was learning how to cook, and enjoyed trying different tastes and styles.
He asked if I enjoyed the changes. I did! I’d spent many years as the ‘old Char’, it was nice for a change. Sure I change my hair style, or even my clothing style, but it’s not the same as making over your body!
He asked when I really decided I was ‘fat’. Hitting 200 pounds was a real milestone for me. At that point I was quite soft and curvy. Being 5’10” I wasn’t HUGE, but I was certainly not skinny!
He asked if I was a feedee. That’s harder to answer. I wasn’t out to gain weight, but I didn’t mind the weight gain, and in fact relished it once I had gained weight! For me it was more about the food than the weight. But I loved the weight almost as much. So I’m not sure if I was a feedee or not.
Unfortunately that’s where our conversation ended.
If I could take the questions a little further: do I regret the weight I’ve gained?
Up until 400 pounds I was okay with it, but after that it got a little excessive, then a lot excessive. I wasn’t really in control any more, and that bothered me. I’m losing weight now, in some ways it’s my assertion of control over myself.
With Ian being so big, am I now a feeder? Oh hell yes! When Ian first started gaining weight it bugged me. I liked him fine the way he was. But he was having a lot of fun gaining, and who am I to deprive someone I love of fun? Eventually I did have fun, trying new things for him, getting him to eat more than ever. As he became larger and larger I realised I was having more fun as a feeder than I ever had as Ian’s feedee!
Eventually I see myself at about 300 pounds with Ian around 500. But who knows where these things will go? 5 years ago I’d never have dated a fat guy!
I was chatting with someone I’d met on Dimensions last night.
What’s Dimensions? It’s a magazine/website that is geared towards the ‘plus sized community’: fat people, and the people who love them ;-)
I am a certified fat person. It’s nice to chat with people who have the same world outlook that I have. I don’t do it all the time, but it’s still nice.
There are a few key terms to understanding this ‘world’. BBW = Big Beautiful Woman. A nice way of saying ‘fat chick’. BHM would be a Big Handsome Man, or ‘fat guy’. There is some debate about the terminology, after all, can’t there be women who are fat and ugly? Or men who are big but not handsome? It doesn’t matter, it’s the terms used, and they’re fine with me.
Another term is ‘FA’. This refers to a Fat Admirer, someone who prefers women to be BBWs. Then there is FFA, this would be a woman who prefers men to be BHM. I never had myself pegged as an FFA, and yet Ian does make quite the BHM, so, I guess I’m both a BBW and a FFA.
Still with me?
In this world there is a further subculture (isn’t there always?); it’s called ‘feederism’. Basically the idea is that you get your partner to gain weight for pleasure. This is hotly debated topic. We all ‘know’ fat is unhealthy, and generally socially unacceptable. Forcing someone to be fat would be wrong! Of course, forcing someone to do anything is generally wrong (I have no problem forcing people to not kill though…)
Anyway, I was discussing my weight gain with my friend from Dimensions.
He asked if I had gained weight on purpose. I did not. I did overeat on purpose. I had spent a long time eating little, it was nice to change that, and felt really good going from one extreme to the other. I was learning how to cook, and enjoyed trying different tastes and styles.
He asked if I enjoyed the changes. I did! I’d spent many years as the ‘old Char’, it was nice for a change. Sure I change my hair style, or even my clothing style, but it’s not the same as making over your body!
He asked when I really decided I was ‘fat’. Hitting 200 pounds was a real milestone for me. At that point I was quite soft and curvy. Being 5’10” I wasn’t HUGE, but I was certainly not skinny!
He asked if I was a feedee. That’s harder to answer. I wasn’t out to gain weight, but I didn’t mind the weight gain, and in fact relished it once I had gained weight! For me it was more about the food than the weight. But I loved the weight almost as much. So I’m not sure if I was a feedee or not.
Unfortunately that’s where our conversation ended.
If I could take the questions a little further: do I regret the weight I’ve gained?
Up until 400 pounds I was okay with it, but after that it got a little excessive, then a lot excessive. I wasn’t really in control any more, and that bothered me. I’m losing weight now, in some ways it’s my assertion of control over myself.
With Ian being so big, am I now a feeder? Oh hell yes! When Ian first started gaining weight it bugged me. I liked him fine the way he was. But he was having a lot of fun gaining, and who am I to deprive someone I love of fun? Eventually I did have fun, trying new things for him, getting him to eat more than ever. As he became larger and larger I realised I was having more fun as a feeder than I ever had as Ian’s feedee!
Eventually I see myself at about 300 pounds with Ian around 500. But who knows where these things will go? 5 years ago I’d never have dated a fat guy!
Monday, February 24, 2003
What to say?
I’ve always preferred to express myself abstractly rather than with words. Not that I can’t write coherent sentences or construct withering arguments… just not on a regular basis.
In the world of words I prefer dialogue to soliloquy. I like to talk with someone rather than just ramble on and on about something.
I could put my political views on this page.
But without someone to bounce them off, they’d come across as hollow and incomplete. What if someone disagreed with me, legitimately!? I couldn’t fix it, the words would be there forever.
I could write about what’s going on in my life, but, to be honest, there’s not much. London is a rather sedate little town. I enjoyed the quiet when I got here, but it’s just getting to be a little… well, little. Maybe it’s me. I need to find the fun where I can, rather than wait for it to come to me.
Or maybe I’m not cut out for London! There’s certainly no good plus size shops here, lol
I’ve always preferred to express myself abstractly rather than with words. Not that I can’t write coherent sentences or construct withering arguments… just not on a regular basis.
In the world of words I prefer dialogue to soliloquy. I like to talk with someone rather than just ramble on and on about something.
I could put my political views on this page.
But without someone to bounce them off, they’d come across as hollow and incomplete. What if someone disagreed with me, legitimately!? I couldn’t fix it, the words would be there forever.
I could write about what’s going on in my life, but, to be honest, there’s not much. London is a rather sedate little town. I enjoyed the quiet when I got here, but it’s just getting to be a little… well, little. Maybe it’s me. I need to find the fun where I can, rather than wait for it to come to me.
Or maybe I’m not cut out for London! There’s certainly no good plus size shops here, lol
Friday, February 21, 2003
No Friday five today.
I wasn’t fond of the questions, couldn’t come up with any really interesting answers.
I could always create my own, but… that requires more energy than I have at the moment!
So, what can I possibly discuss here?
How about writing about Amy? lol.
She’s a good friend. I mean we had hardly talked for over a year (just drifted apart, nothing between us!), and yet when she heard of a job, she thought of me, contacted me, and then let me move in with her! I mean... that’s a great friend, right?
It’s been a lot of fun getting to re-know her. Certainly things change over time. She’s not the same girl she was in high school. She’s a university educated accountant! I know I’m not the same girl I was in high school, I’ve quadrupled my weight.
We are good friends, there is very little tension as roommates. Certainly other roommates have been less accommodating than Amy has.
She’s a good girl, a smart girl. But she lets things get to her more than she used to. I guess it’s because she’s had too much disappointment. Or her standards are too high, or not what she thinks they are. I’m not sure what exactly it is, but it’s not something I can identify with.
She hasn’t had a boyfriend since last summer. She’s trying to lose weight before finding another one. She feels that the ‘real Amy’ is 120 pounds, and hates for people to think THIS is the real her. I’ve tried to convince her that she could have more fun if she wanted to! But alas, she’s set in her goal. I haven’t been ‘meddling’ at all, maybe I should? I could teach her the same joy of food that I’ve learned, lol.
Maybe I should invite a couple of our artists over for dinner sometime. Maybe something will happen, maybe not.
I don’t know. I guess I feel I owe her something, but since she doesn’t ask for anything, it’s hard to know!
I wasn’t fond of the questions, couldn’t come up with any really interesting answers.
I could always create my own, but… that requires more energy than I have at the moment!
So, what can I possibly discuss here?
How about writing about Amy? lol.
She’s a good friend. I mean we had hardly talked for over a year (just drifted apart, nothing between us!), and yet when she heard of a job, she thought of me, contacted me, and then let me move in with her! I mean... that’s a great friend, right?
It’s been a lot of fun getting to re-know her. Certainly things change over time. She’s not the same girl she was in high school. She’s a university educated accountant! I know I’m not the same girl I was in high school, I’ve quadrupled my weight.
We are good friends, there is very little tension as roommates. Certainly other roommates have been less accommodating than Amy has.
She’s a good girl, a smart girl. But she lets things get to her more than she used to. I guess it’s because she’s had too much disappointment. Or her standards are too high, or not what she thinks they are. I’m not sure what exactly it is, but it’s not something I can identify with.
She hasn’t had a boyfriend since last summer. She’s trying to lose weight before finding another one. She feels that the ‘real Amy’ is 120 pounds, and hates for people to think THIS is the real her. I’ve tried to convince her that she could have more fun if she wanted to! But alas, she’s set in her goal. I haven’t been ‘meddling’ at all, maybe I should? I could teach her the same joy of food that I’ve learned, lol.
Maybe I should invite a couple of our artists over for dinner sometime. Maybe something will happen, maybe not.
I don’t know. I guess I feel I owe her something, but since she doesn’t ask for anything, it’s hard to know!
Monday, February 17, 2003
Soooo, I had a pretty good weekend...
Valentine’s Day included ;)
Ian drove in from Toronto to Surprise me. We had dinner at The Keg, which was very nice, as it always is!
We got home and had a tonne of Valentine’s chocolate… I fed more to Ian than I had myself, but my ‘diet’ certainly didn’t survive the weekend!
Saturday morning I was working, but on my way home I bought stuff to make a huge brunch: bacon, sausage, pancakes, toast, juice, cream, butter. Not the largest meal I’ve ever fed Ian, but it was definitely a lot! During the hockey game we ate a tonne of chips.
Sunday we did a proper breakfast, and I do feel that Ian’s appetite has fully recovered from his flu! He packed away a huge amount of food. I barely got any for myself, but that’s okay. I love taking care of my feedee like that.
He had fun, I had fun. Before he went home we had some huge banana splits.
I don’t think Amy was so impressed. She doesn’t have a guy right now, and her dieting efforts aren’t working. So having Ian lounging around gorging himself wasn’t exactly her idea of a perfect valentine’s.
On the other hand, they are becoming pretty good friends! They have a lot in common and talk about stuff I don’t really care about.
Ian probably gained a few pounds over the weekend, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Amy and I did too!
Valentine’s Day included ;)
Ian drove in from Toronto to Surprise me. We had dinner at The Keg, which was very nice, as it always is!
We got home and had a tonne of Valentine’s chocolate… I fed more to Ian than I had myself, but my ‘diet’ certainly didn’t survive the weekend!
Saturday morning I was working, but on my way home I bought stuff to make a huge brunch: bacon, sausage, pancakes, toast, juice, cream, butter. Not the largest meal I’ve ever fed Ian, but it was definitely a lot! During the hockey game we ate a tonne of chips.
Sunday we did a proper breakfast, and I do feel that Ian’s appetite has fully recovered from his flu! He packed away a huge amount of food. I barely got any for myself, but that’s okay. I love taking care of my feedee like that.
He had fun, I had fun. Before he went home we had some huge banana splits.
I don’t think Amy was so impressed. She doesn’t have a guy right now, and her dieting efforts aren’t working. So having Ian lounging around gorging himself wasn’t exactly her idea of a perfect valentine’s.
On the other hand, they are becoming pretty good friends! They have a lot in common and talk about stuff I don’t really care about.
Ian probably gained a few pounds over the weekend, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Amy and I did too!
Friday, February 14, 2003
It's Friday, so that means...
Here's my Friday Five
1. Explain why you started to journal/blog.
Why not? Ian had started one, so I figured I could do one too.
2. Do people you interact with day to day or family members know about your journal/blog? Why or why not?
My family doesn’t know about it. If they asked, I’d let them know I suppose. Ian knows about my blog, but he says he doesn’t read it. I don’t read his either. That way we can talk about each other, without worrying about the other reading it!
3. Do you have a theme for your journal/blog?
Nope.
4. What direction would you like to have your journal/blog go in over the next year?
Well, I’d like it to be very happy!
Since it’s just a chronicle of my life, it will include weight loss, wedding plans, possibly moving to another country.
5. Pimp five of your favorite journals/blogs.
Ian (aka Fat Boy) My finace and feedee!
Andi Crazy girl from Seattle
Delako I met him on Yahoo. he’s a lot of fun to chat with!
Big Fat Blog discusses weight issues, focusing on the message that obesity isn’t bad!
Wall Street Journal Opinion Pages They’re so damn conservative. Some very good writing though.
Here's my Friday Five
1. Explain why you started to journal/blog.
Why not? Ian had started one, so I figured I could do one too.
2. Do people you interact with day to day or family members know about your journal/blog? Why or why not?
My family doesn’t know about it. If they asked, I’d let them know I suppose. Ian knows about my blog, but he says he doesn’t read it. I don’t read his either. That way we can talk about each other, without worrying about the other reading it!
3. Do you have a theme for your journal/blog?
Nope.
4. What direction would you like to have your journal/blog go in over the next year?
Well, I’d like it to be very happy!
Since it’s just a chronicle of my life, it will include weight loss, wedding plans, possibly moving to another country.
5. Pimp five of your favorite journals/blogs.
Ian (aka Fat Boy) My finace and feedee!
Andi Crazy girl from Seattle
Delako I met him on Yahoo. he’s a lot of fun to chat with!
Big Fat Blog discusses weight issues, focusing on the message that obesity isn’t bad!
Wall Street Journal Opinion Pages They’re so damn conservative. Some very good writing though.
Thursday, February 13, 2003
Finally, Something New!
Maybe I was a little ambitious, trying to enter into my diary every day.
But I was trying to make sure I never left gaps like, well, this one!
So what’s the deal? Why the gap?
Easy, I’m feeling pretty… well… run down as of late. It might be the winter blahs, it might be missing Ian, it might be that the excitement of a new job, a new city and a new roommate has worn off, and it might be my new diet.
Probably a mixture of those things.
I can always try to address them. I could go on vacation somewhere sunny. I could spend more time with Ian. I could look at moving again. I could try to find another job. I could go back to inhaling any food that strays near me.
Hmmm… I could go with Ian to Nashville next month! It’s warm and sunny there, right? I could look around for places I might work once he moves there. I could just sit in the hotel and pig out.
Hey, I think I like that idea!
More on that later.
Until then, I think I’ll try to get to Toronto sometime soon. I want to visit Amanda. Maybe that’s what I’m missing. I haven’t seen her since Christmas! Or Jeri for that matter.
Amanda’s growing up, she’s never the same when I see her any more. Jeri’s also getting her diet back on track. She had a few bad months there, lol. I wonder if I’ve lost weight? I feel like I have, but who knows? I don’t have a scale here that can tell me.
I know that Amy’s gained weight. She really needs to ‘let go’ and understand that she can be happy without being 120 pounds. She just doesn’t believe me!
I think she might be coming around though. She likes letting me sketch her, which means she’s got some acceptance of her appearance. Or maybe she knows I’ll never show anyone my sketches!
To summarise I need to:
Jump Ian
Have a day of gluttony
Paint with Amanda
Convince Amy she’s sexy
Maybe I was a little ambitious, trying to enter into my diary every day.
But I was trying to make sure I never left gaps like, well, this one!
So what’s the deal? Why the gap?
Easy, I’m feeling pretty… well… run down as of late. It might be the winter blahs, it might be missing Ian, it might be that the excitement of a new job, a new city and a new roommate has worn off, and it might be my new diet.
Probably a mixture of those things.
I can always try to address them. I could go on vacation somewhere sunny. I could spend more time with Ian. I could look at moving again. I could try to find another job. I could go back to inhaling any food that strays near me.
Hmmm… I could go with Ian to Nashville next month! It’s warm and sunny there, right? I could look around for places I might work once he moves there. I could just sit in the hotel and pig out.
Hey, I think I like that idea!
More on that later.
Until then, I think I’ll try to get to Toronto sometime soon. I want to visit Amanda. Maybe that’s what I’m missing. I haven’t seen her since Christmas! Or Jeri for that matter.
Amanda’s growing up, she’s never the same when I see her any more. Jeri’s also getting her diet back on track. She had a few bad months there, lol. I wonder if I’ve lost weight? I feel like I have, but who knows? I don’t have a scale here that can tell me.
I know that Amy’s gained weight. She really needs to ‘let go’ and understand that she can be happy without being 120 pounds. She just doesn’t believe me!
I think she might be coming around though. She likes letting me sketch her, which means she’s got some acceptance of her appearance. Or maybe she knows I’ll never show anyone my sketches!
To summarise I need to:
Jump Ian
Have a day of gluttony
Paint with Amanda
Convince Amy she’s sexy
Friday, February 07, 2003
Nothing New
So here's my Friday Five
1. What did you have for breakfast this morning? If you didn't have breakfast, why not?
I had a bowl of Raisin Bran, and a poppyseed bagel with light cream cheese.
2. What's your favorite cereal?
Favourite? Hmmm... Cookie Crisp. But they don't sell it in Canada
3. How often do you eat out? Do you want that to change?
I eat out for lunch a few times a week.
I love to cook, for me, for my friends, for Ian. So going out for dinner is only a once in a while, when I have no time sort of thing.
I'm quite content with my current arrangement.
4. What do you plan on having for dinner tonight? Got a recipe for that?
Chicken.
Yes, but I don't know what one yet.
5. What's your favorite restaurant? Why?
All you can eat! I love watching Ian show off how much he can eat. (By the way, Fat Boy's upto 436 pounds)
So here's my Friday Five
1. What did you have for breakfast this morning? If you didn't have breakfast, why not?
I had a bowl of Raisin Bran, and a poppyseed bagel with light cream cheese.
2. What's your favorite cereal?
Favourite? Hmmm... Cookie Crisp. But they don't sell it in Canada
3. How often do you eat out? Do you want that to change?
I eat out for lunch a few times a week.
I love to cook, for me, for my friends, for Ian. So going out for dinner is only a once in a while, when I have no time sort of thing.
I'm quite content with my current arrangement.
4. What do you plan on having for dinner tonight? Got a recipe for that?
Chicken.
Yes, but I don't know what one yet.
5. What's your favorite restaurant? Why?
All you can eat! I love watching Ian show off how much he can eat. (By the way, Fat Boy's upto 436 pounds)
Thursday, February 06, 2003
Do you ever wonder what sort of art is superior art?
I do.
Anyone can get a message across in a 2 hour movie, or a 1000 page novel. There’s hardly any art to that at all, mostly just an ability to do the same thing for a long, long time.
Sculpture is usually about shaping something just right, but, if I want something just right, then why not have the real thing? Sure, it’s a skill to create a perfect statue of some famous guy. I must admit, I do admire the more abstract sculptures.
Painting, now that is a true art. You have but one moment to express what you want your audience to experience. Every detail finesses another point. Every stroke as important as the last. It’s either right, or it’s wrong. To sum things up on a single canvas, now that is art.
I do.
Anyone can get a message across in a 2 hour movie, or a 1000 page novel. There’s hardly any art to that at all, mostly just an ability to do the same thing for a long, long time.
Sculpture is usually about shaping something just right, but, if I want something just right, then why not have the real thing? Sure, it’s a skill to create a perfect statue of some famous guy. I must admit, I do admire the more abstract sculptures.
Painting, now that is a true art. You have but one moment to express what you want your audience to experience. Every detail finesses another point. Every stroke as important as the last. It’s either right, or it’s wrong. To sum things up on a single canvas, now that is art.
Wednesday, February 05, 2003
So last night I did draw a sketch of Amy.
She wasn’t so sure at first, but she ended up liking it. She’s a fantastic model, actually. I don’t know exactly what makes someone a great model, but she was really easy to capture in graphite!
I think I’ll do some more, if she’ll let me. But who knows?
She wasn’t so sure at first, but she ended up liking it. She’s a fantastic model, actually. I don’t know exactly what makes someone a great model, but she was really easy to capture in graphite!
I think I’ll do some more, if she’ll let me. But who knows?
Tuesday, February 04, 2003
I’ve been a bit listless lately.
Sure, most of it has to do with not seeing Ian nearly as much as I want. Also, I miss Amanda and Jeri tonnes too.
I’m sure part of it is my body adapting to the new diet. It’s not happy with fewer calories, so why should I be happy? I’m not worried, I’ll slog through it.
I think the main problem, though, is creative frustration. I’m following recipes pretty close right now, until I get the knack of this ‘healthy cooking’. Once I get the key processes in place, I’m sure I’ll be able to punch it up like I love doing.
I haven’t done any painting, I’m not a huge fan of painting in the winter. It’s all so… uniform. To mean painting is about colour, which snowscapes and greyskies just don’t really convey. I know others will have different opinions, but they can write in their own damn diaries. (Or, if you want, put a comment about it.)
So, maybe I’ll do some sketching. That medium is perfect for greys! I don’t know what I’ll draw. I’ve actually been thinking of drawing Amy. She’s been in a bit of a funk lately too. Her diet isn’t going quite as well as mine. Maybe I can help her feel better with a nice drawing. Or at least… something.
Sure, most of it has to do with not seeing Ian nearly as much as I want. Also, I miss Amanda and Jeri tonnes too.
I’m sure part of it is my body adapting to the new diet. It’s not happy with fewer calories, so why should I be happy? I’m not worried, I’ll slog through it.
I think the main problem, though, is creative frustration. I’m following recipes pretty close right now, until I get the knack of this ‘healthy cooking’. Once I get the key processes in place, I’m sure I’ll be able to punch it up like I love doing.
I haven’t done any painting, I’m not a huge fan of painting in the winter. It’s all so… uniform. To mean painting is about colour, which snowscapes and greyskies just don’t really convey. I know others will have different opinions, but they can write in their own damn diaries. (Or, if you want, put a comment about it.)
So, maybe I’ll do some sketching. That medium is perfect for greys! I don’t know what I’ll draw. I’ve actually been thinking of drawing Amy. She’s been in a bit of a funk lately too. Her diet isn’t going quite as well as mine. Maybe I can help her feel better with a nice drawing. Or at least… something.
Monday, February 03, 2003
Fat Boy is now 31!
A few thoughts on the weekend. Whoever invented the tradition of getting people fall down drunk on their birthday did NOT have to contend with a person over 400 pounds. It’s almost impossible to keep Ian on his feet once his balance goes!
Second, Ian’s ex-girlfriend was at the bar. He’d invited her. At first I wasn’t sure why he’d do this. But, I figured out why. She’s pretty cool! We talked about why they broke up, and I can see why Ian’s not worried about jealousy. She’s in fantastic shape, and a fitness nut. She’s not really into Ian, as is. I mean she likes him, but the physical attraction ain’t there.
It was nice being in Toronto again, though it wasn’t long, I had to work yesterday. Ugh. Oh well.
A few thoughts on the weekend. Whoever invented the tradition of getting people fall down drunk on their birthday did NOT have to contend with a person over 400 pounds. It’s almost impossible to keep Ian on his feet once his balance goes!
Second, Ian’s ex-girlfriend was at the bar. He’d invited her. At first I wasn’t sure why he’d do this. But, I figured out why. She’s pretty cool! We talked about why they broke up, and I can see why Ian’s not worried about jealousy. She’s in fantastic shape, and a fitness nut. She’s not really into Ian, as is. I mean she likes him, but the physical attraction ain’t there.
It was nice being in Toronto again, though it wasn’t long, I had to work yesterday. Ugh. Oh well.
