MsCezanne's Odyssey

Ian

Ian continues his hard work at the gym and excellent dietary habits. He's down to 482 pounds, which means he's lost about 120 pounds now. It's been a lot of work for him, I wasn't sure he'd stick with it like this, but it's routine now, and as a parent, I know how easy life can be when you've got your routine down. He still eats plenty, his body requires a lot of calories just to operate, but it's sensible sizes, more of a daily grazing. He eats a lot of fruit and veggies and just stays away from sugary snacks. He keeps his meals down to one serving as well. Cutting out the 'treats' and keeping meals reasonably sized is what I thought he'd have the most trouble with. He says that watching me indulge is far more enjoyable to him than indulging himself ever was.

Amy

This is Amy's time of year. The RSP deadline is tonight, so she's helping as many people get a handle on their taxes as possible. In addition to that, she's been looking to buy a house because 'the apartment is tighter than most of her clothes'. With all the walking she's had to do, and all the stress she figures it's a miracle she's still 511 pounds. She credits Thomas's superheroic attention to her appetite; he's keeping her well fed both at home and at work. She may have found a place to live, by the way. She's waiting until taxes clear up a little before going through everything though. It's a nice little place, she says there's 4 levels, but only a few stairs between each one. Thomas loves it being a very open design.

Alex

I haven't actually seen Alex since Amy moved out west. Haven't even talked with him. With the Oscars last week I did think about him and Michel. They're always up for a good party, and the Oscars is their superbowl. I missed the Oscars because, well, I don't care any more. It's fun when it's social, but it's just painful to sit and watch. I only mention Alex because I remember people asked about him. Sorry, I have nothing to add.

Char aka, me.

I have become a wee bit chubby as of late. Like 480 pounds of chubby. I'm only 2 pounds away from surpassing Ian, which has been my goal for a LONG time now! We're both pretty excited to be getting to this point, it really felt like it would never happen, even though we both knew it was inevitable.

Being 480 pounds is far different from being 400 pounds. When I was 400 pounds I was big, yeah, but sometimes I could kind of forget about it. There were times I didn't feel fat at all and would almost be surprised when forced to realise I was (say, getting up after sitting for a couple of hours). At 480, and growing, it's much harder to forget how big I am. One of the things I've always loved about having a fat body is how in tune with it you become. At 480, it really has bumped up to another level. I'm still in tune, but the volume has been pumped up. Just sitting here typing I can feel everything moving as I breath, I can feel the impacts from my fingers on the keyboard jiggle throughout my body. Everything is touching something, I can feel my legs together, my arms and my sides, my belly on my lap, my clothing stretching across my back. There's just so much of me, and it's all speaking to me at once, it's a symphony, and I love it, and until you've experienced it, you just can't understand.

Once I've surpassed Ian, I'll continue gaining until I reach 500 pounds. I feel like I could keep going, maybe even make an attempt to reach 600 like Ian did. But, there are other priorities at work, and I think 500 pounds will be triumph of my gaining career.

Still, a lot can happen in 20 pounds.

I was all ready to wrap things up with Kate, but she keeps bringing more to the table! I love someone with tenacity. I still feel bad about implying she might be closed minded. It's not what I meant, but I really can't think of a better expression. She brings up some general theories I'd take up over at Char Vs the World, if I was still updating it.

For example the fallacy that my gluttony somehow affects people starving in another nation. If anything, my over consumption allows socially responsible companies more money to give to nations that really need it. The starvation has more to do with politics than supply, so, truly, no matter how much I eat, it doesn't affect the guy with the gun who steals the food.

As for the carbon footprint, that's intriguing, I'll have to learn more about this. I think the solution is more plant life. Not that I'm doing much about that, but since plants eat carbon dioxide, if I eat MORE plants, that means more plants for getting CO2 cleaned up, right? (No? Worth a try.)

The one that really kills me is the car thing. Our economy is still built around the car. If you remove all jobs manufacturing, selling and servicing cars, there's not a lot of people left with a job. Sure, the car is just busy work that keeps everyone employed, but until there's something else to do, the secret is to make cars better for the environment. There's good money in that, and people get to keep their jobs!

Finally, I'm sure I've got psychological problems. If you have theories, I'd be happy to discuss them ;-)

In other news... I'm fatter, again. I'm now the proud owner of 478 pounds! Ian's lost a lot more weight, he's down to 485. He'll be a stick figure by the summer. Well, compared to me anyway.

Amy informs me she's busy house hunting in between doing taxes, working and eating. Her weight is stalled at 511, she's just happy she hasn't been losing weight.

I don’t mind carrying on this debate at all, and you can post to your heart’s content, I won’t ever edit or delete your comments (unless you ask me to. It’s only fair, since I can edit my own posts if I find mistakes.) I just gave the option of a private continuation, if that’s what you wanted (since we hardly know each other, I like to give broad options. No pun intended…)
I see the situation as lacking ‘right and wrong’, and would even concede if there was a ‘right and wrong’, you’d be on the right side.

I won’t defend the greater community who may/may not read my blog, and may/may not agree with me (or yourself). I can’t speak for them, and as you point out, I don’t really belong to the fringe group that would cause the most concern.

There’s little left for me to add, I’ve given you my thoughts, you’ve read them, you don’t agree. I don’t mind. I know that you’re not being malicious, and quite frankly, I enjoy having friends I disagree with. (I just like to argue. Drives lots of people away, but it keeps things interesting.)
I’ll answer any questions you have.

I guess I can address the quality of life thing… until you’ve actually been 300 pounds, with an open mind, it’s hard to tell if it’s something you’d enjoy or not. Yes, many things you currently enjoy might become impossible to enjoy, but perhaps there are other things you would enjoy. Probably not. Just like it takes the right kind of person to jump out of a plane, or climb Everest, it takes the right kind of person to enjoy their weight. There was a time in my life where I’d have decked anyone who said I’d be this fat and ENJOY it. People change, and I love it.

Dearest Stephanie,

I'm 5'11" tall and 32 years old.

I understand and appreciate your concern, and quite frankly applaud your courage to actually attach your name. You'd be surprised how many people feel the need to criticize me, but only behind a cowardly wall of anonymity.

The fact is there is more to life than living the longest one possible. Yes, living a long and healthy life is a good thing, and I can understand why a great many people aspire to that. If I happen to have a long and healthy life, I will not be disappointed by that result.

However, my goal isn't to just get by, to coast along. That's not who I am. Getting to be 500 pounds hasn't exactly been a life long goal of mine, but it has become a goal as of late, and if I don't do it, I will live with regret for the rest of my life. Regret is an awful thing to live with, and I will not trade my happiness for an extended period of regret.

The thrill of food, the joy of weight gain is very alien in our culture. I can't pretend to explain it to someone who hasn't experienced it. Until I chose to open myself to it, it seemed pretty ugly to me too. Food is art, it can be enjoyed on so many levels, and putting together an exquisite meal really is a pleasure equalled only by appreciating it. Weight gain (and to be fair weight loss) changes your body in new and exciting ways. Where's the fun in waking up every morning with the exact same body you had last week, last month, or for the last 20 years? There's no sense of discovery, nothing new to experience, and you must rely on the outside world for stimulation and, trust me, the outside world can be a bit of a bummer from time to time.

The other analysis is much simpler: the world is full of people who do 'stupid things'. I doubt you're posting in the blogs of people who smoke, who drink, who drive without a seatbelt, who skydive, who climb mountains, who choose to wage war on their fellow man. Their activity is every bit as risky as mine. Many of them are fully aware of the risks, but choose to enjoy themselves and in some cases, embrace their death defying accomplishments. There is room in the world for them. There is room in the world for me (no matter how obese I become). There is room in the world for those who would make themselves feel better by warning us we're going to die.

So Stephanie, I hope you do have vices in your life that bring you joy. I hope you understand that, yes, I know what I'm doing isn't normal, yes, I know what I'm doing might be dangerous and, yes, I truly enjoy it.

Feel free to email me at any time if you'd like to discuss it further: charmcd@gmail.com Or post away with your concerns, you're welcome here. Maybe you'll win me over!

And to anyone who might disagree with Stephanie, she didn't post out of a mean spirit, I hope you can understand that it's good to have caring people in the world who are willing to be unpopular to get their point across.

I don't know how Ian handled being 600 pounds! I'm up to 476, and it really is a lot of weight to deal with. I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm not happy with it, but the fatter I get, the thinner my patience for it is. I couldn't possibly do this without Ian's support. We're still aiming for me to reach 500 pounds, but I'm pretty sure that's it.

Amy Update

Speaking of 500 pounds, she's now up to a reported 511 pounds. She tells me she's finally getting around to 'feeling like a 500 pounder', but she is still a little disappointed that she doesn't feel bigger. On the other hand, she's looking forward to getting big enough that she really does feel it.

Business has been growing. She says 'tax season' is a very reliable source of income, and reputation for accountants.

Calgary was actually warmer than it was here lately. Though it's back to normal now so I don't have to hear about it any more. Not that we really spend much time outside, either of us.

Instead of stuffing a beautiful woman into a cake for Ian's birthday, we stuffed a cake into a beautiful woman.

Ian's birthday wish this year was to pamper me. Ever willing to make sacrifices for my dear husband, I spent the weekend eating everything he put in front of me. There was plenty to have, starting with Cinnabons, through pizza at lunch, a fruit tray in the afternoon and chinese food for dinner. The highlight was a cherry cheesecake. It took me most of the evening to finish it off, but I did, and it was VERY good.

I could hardly move all day long, but Ian was a good sport about keeping the place going on his birthday.

So, besides a happy wife, Ian also got a new iPod and some running shoes.

In a word: yes.

I don't know if I eat as much as Ian could in his golden age, but a particularly well timed day I can eat pretty much constantly.

From what Amy's told me, I don't envy her little apartment either. Would make a good sitcom joke though ;-)