Monday, September 30, 2002

Careful what you wish for!

You just may get it!

Not that I’m majorly upset by what’s going on now, but I didn’t realise how much I had settled into my comfy little life.

I’d never thought of myself as someone who would do that, but then who does? And now *poof*, I’m moving, Ian’s moving, new jobs, new cities, new dynamics. Everything is different, and I have my old friend ‘change’ back in my life.

I’m looking forward to it. I love having new frontiers to explore and conquer. But at the same time, this is the first time I’ve had anything to lose.

That’s not true, when I moved in with Ian I had to leave Amanda behind. That was tough, but I knew it was best for both of us (and best for Jeri too).

Of course, I think this is best for Ian and I. But because I think it, is it true? I’ll say yes, because it’s the only answer that’s possible now.

This time I do have more to lose than when I moved out of the apartment. This time I can lose Ian, Jeri and Amanda. I don’t think I will lose them, but I know my relationships with them will fundamentally change. It will be interesting to see how distance affects them. Plus, I’ll be getting new people in my life, so it’s worth it.

Paul isn’t sorry to let me go. He’s always been on me about my weight and how I represent the dealership and blah blah blah. I think the salesmen are going to miss me though, they really like having me around, just because I’m not like them, but at least I get it.

I’ll miss working here a little bit, but not a lot. Paul is a great guy, but he’s a salesman first and foremost.

Friday, September 27, 2002

What a great day!

I drove to London, so I could have a face to face interview with the people I’ll be working for. It was a formality, just to make sure that I was as good in person as I was over the phone… my job to lose in other words ;)

Well, I did get the job! I had the interview with a woman named Christine. She’s very nice, pretty cute too! Smart, and I think I have found someone I can work with, which is much harder than it sounds. We’ll see how the next few months play out, but I think that Christine and I have enough in common that there won’t be any problems. Besides, she IS a friend of Amy, so…

Of course, I haven’t seen Amy since just after Amanda was born! A lot has happened since then. We’ve talked on the phone a few times, but things never worked out that we saw each other. No big deal, our friendship is one of those ones that you can pick up after a long time of not seeing each other. Not every one is like that.

We’re not like we were in high school, but who is? She went to Western, got a business degree and works for an insurance company now. She seems to be doing very well. She’s got a boyfriend, they’ve been off and on for a couple years now. I didn’t get to meet him though. I’m sure when I move to London that will be resolved.

She actually has a 2 bedroom apartment, she had a roommate when she first moved in, but wanted more privacy 6 months ago. She’ll let me live there for a little bit while I look for my own place. I hope I’m not there too long, but it will be fun to live with her and catch up more!

I hadn’t seen her in 3 years. Yeah, we talk. Yeah, we have mutual friends. And yeah, she knew that I’d ‘gotten fat’. Of course, in high school our idea of ‘getting fat’ was when Jeri would blow up to a size 8 over winter, so she wasn’t really prepared for a 445 pound Charlotte to meet her for lunch! She’d figured I’d gotten fat like Jeri had while pregnant. To be honest, if I didn’t know better, I’d never have imagined I’d be bigger than Jeri was last time Amy saw her, I mean Jeri was over 200 pounds then, pretty huge by our standards!

Of course, Amy was worried that I’d think SHE was fat. She gained about 40 pounds while in University, and I’d guess she added about 20 pounds to that. Certainly ‘fat’ by our old standards, but 180 isn’t that fat. Hmm, I guess she was pretty round, but I thought it looked pretty good on her! Wait until she sees Ian!

I’m really excited about all this, I’ll get to quit work on Monday, then move to London in a couple weeks!


Wednesday, September 25, 2002

Holy crap!

Ian broke 420 pounds today, he’s up to 421. He’s just a machine! I was watching him this morning, and he really is HUGE!

Yeah, I know, I’m 445 (I lost 2 pounds), so I’m still 24 pounds bigger than he is. But the weigh I carry my weight is so different than Ian that he seems much larger than I am.

His stomach is absolutely massive. It wiggles and jiggles as he waddles around getting ready for the day. His legs just keep thickening, it’s funny, I think he’s at least an inch shorter, because he has to stand with his legs spread apart! His whole back is soft and it kind of jiggles too. Fun to watch it squish and roll as he bends over to pick things up. But I just can’t get past that stomach. It’s truly majestic in scope.

I like taking the time to take Ian in, I need to do it more often.

I can’t believe how much he’s been eating either. He’s not ‘trying’ to gain weight, but with work being crazy for him, me probably moving to London (I’ll find out more this weekend), the stress is killing him, and, what does he do when he’s stressed? He eats. I haven’t done a lot of cooking, he grabs fast food, or heats up stuff from the grocery store.

Anyway.

I did lose 2 more pounds. 445 sure doesn’t sound like much, but I’ve been bigger! Jeri tells me she lost 2 pounds too, so I’m keeping up with her! Her body really is dealing with the weight loss well too. Her skin isn’t all loose like it could be. Her boobs are still humungous though. If she lost them too, she might be like 170 or even 160 something. It’s okay, I like the way she looks with ‘em. Besides, with soccer season done, she doesn’t need to worry about them any more.

The job in London seems like a done deal. I’m going to go and have a face to face tomorrow, and they we’ll know more on the weekend.

I’m excited about finally getting this chance. (Okay, I’ve had similar chances, and blown them, but I’m more mature now.) I’ve been talking with Ian, we’re pretty sure this is THE way to go. Some time apart, exploring ourselves will do both of us, therefore us, a world of good.

Can’t wait to see what the next chapter brings!

Tuesday, September 24, 2002

What's Worse?

Trying to fit in, and realising you don't.
or
Trying to stand out, and realising you don't.
?

Monday, September 23, 2002

Okay, it’s been a while.

Why?

Been too busy to type out my thoughts.

Or maybe I just didn’t want a record of the last few weeks.

Who knows.

Who cares?
I hope you do!

What’s happened?

1) Ian’s company is undergoing changes. He doesn’t know what’s up, it’s stressing him
2) Amanda had pneumonia and had to go to the hospital. She was on IV and under observation for a couple days, but she’s all fine now. It was rough having her in there though!
3) I’m trying to find a new way to reinvent myself. I’ve been applying for jobs, and I think I might have found one, working at a gallery in London.

With Ian’s stress, he’s been pretty short tempered. He’s listless, and he’s hungry! He eats a lot right now (and that’s saying something!), but he doesn’t have the patience to let me cook for him. He’s just eating junk. I think it’s getting better, but he might end up moving to Nashville!

Which is fair, since I’m seriously considering moving to London.

If we do that, we’re going to try the long distance relationship for a while. It may turn out that we’re unhappy apart, in which case one of us will move. It may turn out that we’ve both found good career paths, in which case we may be more satisfied as individuals, which is something I think we’re both missing right now.

It’s a lot to digest, and that’s why I haven’t been posting much.

I’ll put more up!

Friday, September 06, 2002

Friday Five

Courtesy of: http://smattering.org/

1. What is your biggest pet peeve? Why?
People who dismiss me based on first impressions.
If I’m going to make the effort to be open minded get to know you, then you should make the effort to get to know me!

2. What irritating habits do you have?
I like to show people up. I crave the attention, and I know it bugs people.

3. Have you tried to change the irritating habits or just let them be?
Hey, I’m just making things interesting! You got a problem with it? Be more interesting.

4. What grosses you out more than anything else? Why?
Not a big fan of blood. Not mine, not anyone else’s. Not on TV. Not even the fake stuff they use in movies.

Why? IT’S BLOOD! IT BELONGS ON THE INSIDE, NOT THE OUTSIDE!

5. What one thing can you never see yourself doing that other people do?
Letting people tell me what to do, what to like, what to avoid.

Thursday, September 05, 2002

Okay, so my resume is upto date.

Now what?

I have no idea where I want to apply. I guess I could poke around job listings, or try just sending it out to galleries and museums.

Maybe Ian makes enough money I can just stay home! I doubt it, besides I’m not sure he’d like the idea of me just hanging out. I don’t think I’d like the idea of me just hanging out! I’d probably just eat the whole time…


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