Friday, August 31, 2007

Karen and Michael: Getting to Know

Karen's friends had given up on Thursday nights. It was clear that was the night for the fatsos, and they weren't going to waste their taut dancers' bodies where they weren't wanted.

Karen couldn't leave it though. She had to find a way to get her Adonis. Deep down she knew that if she just gained some weight, she could have him, but she couldn't. She wouldn't. She'd worked very hard to have the body she had, and could use it to get any man she wanted; except the one she wanted.

Without her group of friends to sit with, Karen was forced to sit by herself on a stool at the end of the bar. All night she put with sneers from men who thought she was too thin, and women who thought she was too thin. When Tim wasn't busy serving customers, he kept her company.

"You're not going to get him," he offered as he cleaned some glasses.

"Who?" she tried to sound nonchalant.

"I know why you're here. I think half the bar knows it. He's not into you. A guy like Michael just doesn't like a girl like you."

"Michael? His name is Michael? He talks about me?" Her eyes lit up. Michael. Her Adonis was Michael.

"No, he doesn't talk about you," Tim noticed the excitement drain from her. "Look kid, you know why he's here. He likes the chubby chicks. You're not chubby, you're not what he's looking for."

"But, but that's not fair, he doesn't even know me. How can he be so shallow?" Karen had dated plenty of shallow men, and it hurt that her Adonis, Michael, could be just like them.

Tim put down the glass he had in his hand and thought for a minute. "Okay, you're right. I think that if he got to know you, he would like you. I'll make sure he gets to know you."

Karen leapt off her stool and kissed Tim full on the lips before running out to catch a cab home. She'd never been so excited.

***

Sometimes Karen wished her friends would leave her alone Thursday nights. For the most part they weren't too nasty about her weight, but they really liked to remind her how small minded they could be when she was getting ready to go meet Michael at the club.

She did admit that sometimes she missed having their taut dancers' bodies. She didn't get the attention of men like she used to, but she was only looking for the attention of one, so that was okay.

Even though she was developing new friends, she liked to sit with Tim for a few minutes before hitting the dance floor. He was such a great friend to her, it was the least she could do. Besides, it gave her a chance to have something to eat before the evening got going.

"I've got to hand it to you, I didn't think you had it in you," he smiled.

"What's that?" she mumbled through her nachos.

"Getting... you know," he pointed awkwardly at the generous curves straining the seams of her outfit. "I just figured when you found out Michael liked... bigger girls you'd give up."

"You know," she paused to finish a mouthful of corn chips, "it seemed so crazy at first, but I just had a feeling." She was trying to balance eating and talking, "Just had a feeling that after meeting Michael, he just might be worth it.... If I didn't try.... I'd never know." She slid the empty plate back to Tim and set off in search of Michael.

As usual he was dancing with some girls who were bigger than she was. This always filled Karen with jealousy, but she quenched it knowing that he would take time for her, and it wouldn't be long before she was the object of his affection and they were jealous of her.

After a few minutes on the dance floor Karen did manage to gain Michaels attention. She did her best to watch him without looking like she was watching him. She doubted she did a good job of it, but she knew from the look on his face that he was enjoying what he was seeing. After a few more minutes he came over to her.

This was the first time he'd ever come over to her.

"You're really growing on me, Karen," he smiled.

She blushed.

"Come on, let's talk for a little bit."

She sat down and they talked. She had no idea what the conversation was about. She only cared that it lasted 15 minutes before he ordered her a round of food before going off to dance with the fat girls.

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Wednesday, August 29, 2007

More about ME

I've been having fun writing stories, haven't taken much time to write about me!

I AM enjoying the stories though. I've started dozens in my head, just a thought, an opening paragraph, or maybe a destination, and then usually they're gone. So putting them down on paper, so to speak, is fun, and then actually pursuing them, that's interesting too.

Megan's story is clearly an opening I didn't know what to do with. I like where it's going, though I feel it's a bit of a waste of the opening. I might have to recycle it when I really figure out what to do with it. I was trying to come up with some sort of Twilight Zone thing, but it never happened. Maybe it'll come, maybe not. I was planning to take Megan there, but I think the story doesn't need that, it's got its own hook.

I'm a little disappointed that Byline hasn't gotten a response. Maybe it's a weak opening? I was thinking that I might take the time to put up a fake blog to go with it, but not sure where I'd get the time to do that. If Byline stays up, I guess it'll stay in my own diary for now.

I'm enjoying Karen's story too, but with 3 stories so far I've really written 6 chapters, and I'm terrified of contradicting myself in it. I could study my own stories, but again, I don't really have the time for that. I'm just writing what comes and posting it. There's no editing, which I'm sure is clear to some people. If you're interested in editing my stories, go ahead. Just don't repost them as your own, okay? If you've got feedback, email me: charmcd@gmail.com or post a comment. If a story doesn't get a response, it doesn't get another posting, unless I happen to come up with something that really needs to be said.

Besides that, been a pretty dull time. Work is busy with everyone being on vacation. It's nothing challenging, mostly a matter of dealing with people on the other end of the phone who are covering for people on vacation, so they have no idea what's going on.

Ian's a little stressed at work, there's some shake ups there, and he's been filling a few different roles, so he's not sure what to expect. He likes the idea of more responsibility, but only if the money comes with it!

Sherry's ready to start whipping me into shape. I'm a little hesitant myself. I'm just getting comfortable with my weight, it's not like before where I just wasn't happy at 460 pounds, this feels good, feels right. I am going to go ahead and start exercising/eating better, but I was just expecting to be a little more enthusiastic. I know this won't work if I don't want it to, so we'll see if I can convince myself. Or something.


Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Byline: The Fat Life

Obesity and Terrorism are by far the two hottest topics affecting our nation today. Our publication has always prided itself on getting to the heart of what our readers want to know. Since getting involved in Terrorism isn't something this reporter is ready to do, I will be exploring the world of obesity.

Yes, I know that at 5 feet 6 inches and 130 pounds puts my BMI at 21.0, which is square in the 'normal' range, and quite far from obesity. Over the coming months I will gain 56 pounds, which will bring my BMI to 30, the low end of 'obesity'.

I will learn what it's like to experience these changes within myself, within my circle of friends and within society as a whole. I anticipate an eye opening experience.

The second focus of this series will be for me to experience the weight loss process which has frustrated millions of Americans.

My ultimate goal is to show people on either side of the BMI divide what the world can be like.

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Sunday, August 26, 2007

Megan 1

5 pounds? 10 Pounds? 100 pounds? How much weight would you have to gain for your life to change? Would it change for the better, or would it make things much much worse?

This is the story of Geraldine, one of thousands of beautiful young women who make their way to Hollywood, only to be lost in the thousands of beautiful young women who make their way to Hollywood. Geraldine was far from average, she was a statuesque blonde who took excellent care of her body. She was a competent actress and would hit it big, if only she could get her big break.

Over the years the big break does not come. She keeps her head above water, avoids serious troubles that claim so many of her peers. She keeps her dignity, she keeps her hope, she works a series of odd jobs, watching as the other statuesque blondes get their break, or far more often sink into the moral morass that Hollywood is known for.

One night she was closing up a restaurant and she came across someone alone at a table. The woman was slumped over, sleeping, or perhaps passed out. As Geraldine approached her, fearful of the coming confrontation, she noticed that the woman wasn't particularly slender. In fact, as Geraldine reached the table, she noticed the clothing seemed a few sizes too small for their owner. With a start the woman sat up and looked directly at Geraldine.

Geraldine took a step back. It was Megan Stewart. They'd been 'friends' before Megan was discovered and went on to have a few bit parts in blockbusters before starring in an absolute flop, and falling off the map of fame. Back then they could've been twins, but not now. Where Geraldine still watched her diet and never missed a work out, Megan was bloated, soft, flabby.
A moment later Megan recognised her. "Geraldine! You! Perfect, you're hired!"

"Um," Geraldine was a little surprised by this greeting. "Um, what?"

"My show. I've got a show. I mean I could have a show. It's not much, you know, washed up actress got fat, lets laugh at her. But it's a show. It's on TV. I need a best friend though. I need you on the show."

Geraldine could barely keep up with Megan's rambling. She sat down with her 'friend'. Details like 3 years without ever seeing each other vanish when someone mentions 'show' in this town. "I'll do it."

The very next day Geraldine was sitting with her agent who was telling her that she was very lucky to get such a break. She wouldn't become a zillionaire making the show, but she'd move into a nice condo, she'd have her expenses covered during shooting, and most importantly, she'd have exposure on national TV. Fake or not, Megan really was her friend!

Geraldine took the time to get to know Megan again, catch up what had happened. It was pretty simple for Megan, she'd gotten so much money so quickly, that when her career crashed, she fell into self pity and gained 70 pounds.

She'd had the good taste to do it outside the tabloids, which was critical to the show. Everyone knew who she was, but seeing her new state would add 'a hook', so the producers told the girls repeatedly. The drama would be presented by their opposite lifestyles, Megan getting back into shape and Geraldine gaining weight.

"Hold on," Geraldine interrupted the producers' discussion. "Gain weight? When? Why? No!!"
"Oh yes," one of the producers went on without missing a beat. "It's in your contract, at least 2 pounds a week."

Before the next mouth could open Geraldine was on the phone with her agent. He knew about it, but being fat and famous was better than being skinny and poor. She'd signed the contract, she had to do it.

"It's not so bad," Megan consoled her later. "It really is fun getting fat, just really hard to find work. Try it, you'll love it. I know," she patted her belly for emphasis.

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Thursday, August 23, 2007

Life Slowly Returns to Normal

After a week away from home, getting back to normal takes a little time. Paul's back into his routines, Ian's back into his routines and I'm... I'm not back into my routines. I learned about myself on the vacation, and I'm trying to put that to good use.I learned that if I really push myself, I can do a lot more than I thought.

So I'm doing more around the apartment, running more errands. It's not huge, but I've become very comfortable with my size, and learned it's not as limiting as I'd thought. I'm not doing cartwheels or running up a dozen flights of stairs, but I can do the dishes and laundry and still run out to pick up the diapers.Even so, Sherry and I are still planning my new routines which will be starting in September. We'll start out with the sort of stuff that worked for Ian, swimming, walking, some weights, and just a gradual reduction in my caloric intake.

I've done it before, Ian's done it, and Shelly's really gung ho about it, so I think things'll go pretty well for us.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Karen and Michael: Dream

Karen's friends were laughing the whole way home. "Did you see that one girl with her fat belly hanging out?" "What about that guy who had tits bigger than mine?" "I can't believe those whales think they can dance on our risers!"

Karen wasn't really paying attention, she was still stinging after being rejected for one of those whales. Really! She could dance, she could dance really well. How could he snub her for someone twice, maybe three times her size?

All night long she tossed and turned. Even in her dreams she was restless. She continued reliving that moment, where her Adonis kept choosing the fat girl over her. In her dream she could see every detail on that cow. Her double chin, her dimpled smile, her large breasts straining against her shirt, her gigantic round ass barely contained by the tight skirt as her belly rippled with the rhythms of her dancing.

Karen's nightmare repeated over and over again for the next few nights. Every time the fat girl seemed to be fatter, and the Adonis seemed to be more excited.

Finally in one dream the fat girl was dancing with more sensuality than Karen had ever seen, sweat clinging to her abundant tanned flesh, her curves gyrating, her soft flesh moving on concert with her curves and the music. Suddenly Karen realised she wasn't looking at a fat girl, she was the fat girl!

She woke up, sitting bolt upright in bed and shaking. She looked down, felt her body. She still had her tight abs, her slender hips and powerful thighs. She noticed though, that while she should have been relieved, she was a little disappointed with her lithe little body.

She shook her head. No, she worked hard to keep her body taut and trim. It was an accomplishment. But those soft luscious breasts, the curvy hips and thighs, the belly that pressed so softly against the Adonis. She longed for them, she ached for them!

Her nightmare had become a dream, and it was going to become her reality.

***

Karen's friends were laughing the whole time. "Look out, wide load coming through!" "You still think you can dance with that big butt?" "New dress? There must be a circus without a tent!"

Karen turned and smiled, "You're just jealous that your boyfriends are as cute, sweet, funny or smart as Michael is."

One of them shot back, "He's not your boyfriend."

Karen winked, "Not yet. Watch out for those sewer grates. At least you have no trouble looking down." She hefted her breasts and let them jiggle a moment before heading out the door to her waiting cab.

Her skinny friends all crossed their arms over their under developed chests and sniffed indignantly at the closed door.

Karen went into the bar and chatted with Tim for a few minutes. He was such a sweet guy, he was nice to her thin or fat. He always had her drink and snacks ready for her, and was always free with his compliments.

She finished up and set out to find Michael. He was dancing with Andrea, of course. Karen wasn't sure, but she thought that Andrea had gained more weight. When Andrea spotted Karen coming, she smiled and stepped up onto the riser to dance with her friends. Karen frowned a little. She'd never seen Andrea struggle to get up, she must've gained weight.

Michael started to lead Karen to a table. She stopped him, "Can't we dance?" She glanced at the table and noticed the array of appetizers awaiting her.

Michael noticed her wavering attention. "That size 14 is getting a little tight on you, isn't it?"

"It's a size 16. And thank you." She pulled Michael right up to her. He was caught by surprise, she'd never done that before. She could feel her soft belly pressing against him in a perfect moment.

He quickly pulled back though, "eat first, then dance."

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Monday, August 20, 2007

Matt and Annie -Joining the Gym

He'd been putting this off for long enough.

Matt exhaled very slowly. These were the largest pair of pants that Annie had bought him, and they were snug. More to the point, they were the only pair of pants that still fit, and the last thing he wanted to do was blow a button with a big breath.

It was time to join the gym.

He walked to the door, slowly. Not too much exertion, not too much strain on that one poor little button. He stepped out and the phone rang. Saved by the bell, he grinned. He turned back, trying to get to it quickly, but without hurrying.

It was Annie. "Going the gym," she said after a moment, "better let me come with you."

Matt winced. He just wasn't comfortable with that thought at all. He didn't really want her to see how tight his clothes were now, much less have her there if he had to weigh in at the gym.

"No, really, you need me there," she answered his feeble protests. "People always sign up for the wrong thing at the gym. Having someone else there helps you get what you need, not what the gym wants to charge you for."

Matt never could say no to her. She was so cute, and a guy like him was so lucky to have her. Besides, having someone else there probably would help him save a few dollars.

He pulled up at her place, glad to find her already waiting at the curb. It had taken a few minutes to glide into the car without popping his button, he didn't really want to repeat the performance for her.

"I'm STARVED," she announced. "Let's eat first."

He tried to just order a salad, but Annie insisted he have something with carbs too. She pointed out he'd have to do a fitness test, and would need his energy. She ordered a big plate of food for herself, as always. Matt ate quickly, including half of Annie's sandwich and most of her fries. Annie ordered dessert, Matt declined, though ended up 'tasting' about half of hers anyway.

He felt a tad ridiculous, as he was trying to get up slowly, but not so slowly that Annie would notice, but slow enough that his button would retain its miraculous hold. He noticed that his belt was joining in the fight, and he felt a little more secure, if somewhat pinched in the waist.

They walked slowly out to the car, Annie exclaiming how she ate so much, and Matt sort of wishing he'd eaten more, even though he never would with Annie there. Getting into the car he finally felt the button give way on his pants. He was thankful the belt would hold his pants more or less in place for the rest of the day, but he would have to buy some new pants to wear to work on Monday.

On the way to the gym Annie gave an excited shout, "Look, they're having a sale! I love their clothes, they look SO good on you. Go, go, I want to get you something nice." He needed the clothes, and wasn't sure when he'd get the time to go. Hopefully she wouldn't see what size he was buying.

In the store she pointed out several styles of pants and shirts she'd like him to try on. Luckily she kept her distance as he picked out the sizes. He thought about going up one size, but decided to try on a variety of sizes. He eventually settled on going up three sizes. The pants were loose, too loose, really, but if he gained another few pounds they'd suit him well, and when he lost weight, he still had plenty of smaller clothes to wear.

Halfway through the parking lot she spotted another sale, this time at a women's clothing store. Without a word they headed for the other shop. He waited while she went through everything, trying endless dozens of clothes. Matt had always hated shopping with girlfriends, it was just interminable, and now he was just hoping no one would see that his pants weren't buttoned.

Finally they were on their way. "Off to the gym," Matt offered with a false enthusiasm.

"Oh, do you have gym clothes to wear? They'll make you do a fitness test." Matt shook his head no. "Okay, then let me just get something for you. Pull over here."

A few minutes later Annie was back in the car with a bag containing grey sweatpants and a matching tshirt. Matt hoped they'd fit okay.

"Finally," Matt was finding it hard to fake the enthusiasm, "off to the gym!"

"Oh, Matt, it's late, you won't be able to join now. Instead, let's go to your place. I can model my new clothes for you, and then we can get dressed up and go some place nice for dinner!"

He couldn't really argue with that.

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Sunday, August 19, 2007

Home Again

It’s nice to get away, but it’s always nice to be home.

We did the tourist trip of Southern Ontario; CN Tower, the ROM, Niagara Falls and just driving the back roads.

It was a lot of fun. There was a lot of walking, I was little concerned about it, but I’ve been keeping much more active this summer than I have been, so it wasn’t really much of a problem. I was worn out every day though!

Ian wasn’t a big fan of the ROM, the dinosaurs weren’t on display. One of the greatest collections in Canada, and he’s worried about the dinos? Oh well.

What was funny was the CN Tower. They’ve got a deck with a ‘glass’ floor, so you can see all of Toronto. The moment I stepped out onto it, half the people in there stepped off. Together they’re a few thousand pounds, so there’s actually LESS weight on with me. Funny stuff.

Niagara Falls was nice too. I haven’t been in a while. We didn’t do the Casino, ‘cause we had Paul, but we did some of the museums and such, those were fun.

Anyway, I need a week off to rest up, we’ll see how much I can write this week!

Sunday, August 12, 2007

C'est la vie, eh?

I'd planned to post earlier this week, but obviously didn't happen. C'est la vie, eh?

Anyway, for the long weekend we went to Newmarket to see friends and family, we had a lot of fun. It's nice when your parents say 'We'll look after Paul, see you tomorrow'. Of course, as much as you want to stay out late, you just can't, not any more. C'est la vie, eh?

Amy and Thomas came back to London with us, and we had a couple of days to kick back and eat together. Well, evenings, Ian and I had to work. C'est la vie, eh?

But we did have a couple of good meals, I made one of my mega batches of fetticini al fredo, and the other night we just had pizza (and pizza and pizza). Not as much time as I'd have liked, but c'est la vie, eh?

Amy's tipping the scales at 526 pounds, or at least was on Wednesday. I wasn't quite sure what to expect when I saw Amy. I have to say, she seemed smaller than I was expecting. I just had a mental picture of her being incredibly huge, and I guess my imagination ran away a little. She does absolutely dwarf Ian now, which I enjoyed. I guess I was expecting her to be a lot bigger than me, and she's really not. Maybe I underestimated myself more than over estimating her? I was sorely tempted to weigh in myself, but stuck to my guns, no weigh in until September. C'est la vie, eh?

Ian and I have been getting ready for vacation. We've been getting things cleaned up and packed up. We're going to just do some touristy things around Ontario this summer. We've never really done that since we were kids, so thought that might be fun. Not sure when we'll be back, although I have to work on the 20th, so I hope it's before then!

If I get a chance to post, I will, if not...

c'est la vie, eh?

Saturday, August 04, 2007

The Amy Report

Amy's had a busy summer with the Calgary Stampede. I wouldn't have thought she'd been involved at all, but she pointed out it's a great way to make contacts, and some of her clients had opportunities to make sales, so she was on her toes the whole time.

With Amy we know what being busy means: she lost some weight. She's been working at regaining it the last couple of weeks. She's reporting a weight of 524 pounds this week.

She is having a busy week, they're on vacation, and are coming back to Ontario to visit friends and family. Since I'm counted among 'friends', I'm certainly looking forward to seeing her again! We've already set aside some time for a good old fashioned sit down, and Ian's even going to go off his diet for her visit.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Karen and Michael Meet

Karen could hear the music booming even before she entered the club with her friends. Normally they wouldn't be out dancing on a Thursday, but mid terms were done, and they needed a chance to head out and have some fun. As they entered the dance music became almost deafening; just the way they liked it. They looked around and were surprised to see the club as busy on a Thursday as it was on the weekends. Karen and her friends headed towards the risers they liked to dominate and stopped cold.

It wasn't unusual for their risers to be occupied when they first got there, but this was the first time that their occupiers were, in Karen's blunt evaluation, fat cows.

She turned to Tim, the bartender, who already had their regular drinks ready, and asked what was going on. He replied that the 'fat club' came every Thursday.

Karen turned back to her risers and watched. She grudgingly admitted that the women up there could dance, even if they were so gross. She looked around the club, it was packed. It wasn't the normal crowd though, there were a lot of women who were fat, and a few women who were bigger than Karen had ever seen. As a proportion, there were more thin men, but there plenty of big guys, and even a few truly mountainous ones. She was surprised to see a few very attractive guys dancing with the fat girls though.

She noticed one guy, an absolute Adonis, was watching the women on her riser. Normally Karen wouldn't approach a man, but he was something special. If he thought those whales could dance, wait until he got a load of her! She waded through the sea of flesh finally coming up to him. She began her best dancing moves. It was a little tough for her, she was used to having the room on the risers, but it was going pretty well considering, she thought. After a few minutes though, she realised that he had seen her, but had shown no interest what so ever. In fact, he even made a point of inviting one of the women down from the riser, the biggest one, Karen noticed, and began to dance with her. Karen was pretty sure that he was doing this as much to show Karen as any one else. She retreated to join her friends.

***

It was Thursday night, and Karen could already feel the music booming as she went into the club. It was a special night for her, she was wearing size 14 for the first time. She was hoping it would be enough to get her up on the riser.

She walked up to the bar and did a little twirl for Tim. He nodded approvingly at her new dress and pushed over her usual drink and fried cheese sticks.

Next she found Michael. He'd been talking with Andrea, the girl he'd been dancing with the night they met. Even though Karen and Andrea were friendly, Karen couldn't help but be jealous of the attention Andrea would get on Thursday nights. She was a terrific dancer, but so much curvier than Karen was, despite the weight she'd been gaining. Seeing Karen coming over, Andrea moved up to the riser and began putting on her show for the rest.

"I love the dress," Michael smiled at Karen, gently sliding over a basket of chicken wings, as though she might not know they were for her.

Karen smiled back "Size 14," she twirled for him, and then slapped her bum to emphasize its slight jiggle. "Think I'm ready?"

Michael shrugged and winced, not keen to deliver bad news, "You've got the moves, but you just don't have the wiggle."

Karen sat down, slightly dejected, and made short work of her chicken wings.

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Wednesday, August 01, 2007

August Begins

I have no real proof, but I'm pretty sure I'm still gaining weight. My appetite seems to have increased now that I'm no longer trying to gain weight. Without trying to gain, food is fun again. I hadn't really noticed that it wasn't fun, until I realised that it was, if you know what I mean. It's just a different approach now, I eat what I want, rather than what I should, and even though they're pretty much the same thing, taking the chore out of it makes all the difference.

Basically, I've gone from trying to eat all the time to eating all the time.

I feel like I've gained weight, it's tough to say how much, more than a couple pounds though, maybe 10. I just feel a little bulgier all 'round, a little heavier in the morning, or when I need to stand up.

It hasn't all been food though. I'm doing more. I'm cleaning up the kitchen now, folding, ironing and putting away the laundry, and we now split the shopping duties, though Ian still does the big shopping trips by himself.

Ian continues his weight loss efforts, and he's keeping his word of not telling me his weight. Not exactly the spirit of not tracking it at all, but Sherry is keeping track of his progress, so it's not exactly easy for him not to know. He's still far from skinny, of course, but he's becoming quite a powerful guy.

One more thing... if you like the fiction I'm posting, please leave a comment or email me or something. I don't care if no one reads my diary, this is as much for as anyone else, but the fiction I'm posting, it's artistic expression. If no one enjoys it, I will not post it. If I sound like an attention hound, so be it...


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