Thursday, December 29, 2005
Life with a baby is different.
Sure, there are the sacrifices in time, sleep and flexibility. There's the radical changes to my own physiology, affecting me physically, mentally and emotionally. There's the changes in the relationship dynamics between me and Ian.
I'm used to those. I was expecting those.
I wasn't expecting the changes in my relationship with everyone else. I'm no longer a daughter, a sister or a friend. Now I'm the transportation device for a cute bundle of joy. I'm an information station on how delivery went, how Paul is handling everything, what things have changed. I feel like I need to bring pamphlets "Delivery was fine, labour was 8 hours. Paul's sleeping well, feeding well etc."
On the other hand, there are plenty of people willing to keep an eye on him, so I can actually be someone besides mom for a while!
Over the holidays I got to see my friends gain. Jen, Tasha and Jeri's friend Angela are ALL pregnant now! Next year, Amy will be the only one without a kid. When life changes, it changes fast. It was funny, all of us hanging out, the preggos were eating, Amy, Ian and Jeri were eating. I was eating (it's amasing, since I'm breastfeeding, I think I'm even hungrier than when I was preggo!). The guys talked hockey, the girls talked hormones, and the food bill really added up.
I got to make dinner for my family, which was a lot of fun. My mom was more than happy to keep an eye on Paul while I ran the kitchen solo. It wasn't as elaborate a dinner as Thanksgiving this year (it normally is) but since it was a little crazier this time, everyone was very happy with the results.
Speaking of crazy, Paul got so many clothes and blankets and toys that Ian commented that we won't have to buy him anything for years. I can live with that.
Ian got me some upgraded jewellery. It's stuff that fits a little tighter so Paul has less to grab at when I'm wearing it. It's very nice, and Paul's already noticed it.
Ian had his weigh in yesterday, and he's up to 590 pounds. It's pretty good when you consider that he's been busy, and even though the holidays are famous for weight gain, it's actually tough for Ian to get enough to eat because of all the visiting! So I consider that extra pound to be a Christmas Miracle.
He's handling the weight well too. He seems like he's lazy and immobile, but once he's on a mission, he's got a surprising amount of energy, and gets around well enough. He's still helping out with chores and errands around the house. He's doing a better job than I would be!
I'm at a bit of cross roads with my weight. It's not a secret that I'd like to be 280 pounds. It's not a secret that I'm considerably bigger than 280 pounds. It's also tough to hide my appetite: as I said earlier, breastfeeding really bumped up my appetite. (It *IS* a secret how big I am though. Not even Ian knows.)
The conundrum is, even though I want to be 280, I'm enjoying myself right now. I'm enjoying the extra weight, I'm enjoying the extra food. My head and my heart are in disagreement, and I'm not sure my head has ever won out over my heart.
We'll see what happens when my hormones start turning back to normal.
I'm used to those. I was expecting those.
I wasn't expecting the changes in my relationship with everyone else. I'm no longer a daughter, a sister or a friend. Now I'm the transportation device for a cute bundle of joy. I'm an information station on how delivery went, how Paul is handling everything, what things have changed. I feel like I need to bring pamphlets "Delivery was fine, labour was 8 hours. Paul's sleeping well, feeding well etc."
On the other hand, there are plenty of people willing to keep an eye on him, so I can actually be someone besides mom for a while!
Over the holidays I got to see my friends gain. Jen, Tasha and Jeri's friend Angela are ALL pregnant now! Next year, Amy will be the only one without a kid. When life changes, it changes fast. It was funny, all of us hanging out, the preggos were eating, Amy, Ian and Jeri were eating. I was eating (it's amasing, since I'm breastfeeding, I think I'm even hungrier than when I was preggo!). The guys talked hockey, the girls talked hormones, and the food bill really added up.
I got to make dinner for my family, which was a lot of fun. My mom was more than happy to keep an eye on Paul while I ran the kitchen solo. It wasn't as elaborate a dinner as Thanksgiving this year (it normally is) but since it was a little crazier this time, everyone was very happy with the results.
Speaking of crazy, Paul got so many clothes and blankets and toys that Ian commented that we won't have to buy him anything for years. I can live with that.
Ian got me some upgraded jewellery. It's stuff that fits a little tighter so Paul has less to grab at when I'm wearing it. It's very nice, and Paul's already noticed it.
Ian had his weigh in yesterday, and he's up to 590 pounds. It's pretty good when you consider that he's been busy, and even though the holidays are famous for weight gain, it's actually tough for Ian to get enough to eat because of all the visiting! So I consider that extra pound to be a Christmas Miracle.
He's handling the weight well too. He seems like he's lazy and immobile, but once he's on a mission, he's got a surprising amount of energy, and gets around well enough. He's still helping out with chores and errands around the house. He's doing a better job than I would be!
I'm at a bit of cross roads with my weight. It's not a secret that I'd like to be 280 pounds. It's not a secret that I'm considerably bigger than 280 pounds. It's also tough to hide my appetite: as I said earlier, breastfeeding really bumped up my appetite. (It *IS* a secret how big I am though. Not even Ian knows.)
The conundrum is, even though I want to be 280, I'm enjoying myself right now. I'm enjoying the extra weight, I'm enjoying the extra food. My head and my heart are in disagreement, and I'm not sure my head has ever won out over my heart.
We'll see what happens when my hormones start turning back to normal.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Getting Along
Everyone said that the key to sanity for a new mom is to setup a routine. Everyone.
Everyone was right.
Assuming you can call me 'sane'.
We've got Paul onto a schedule, he's sleeping well, he's feeding well, we're having a great time together! I won't say it's easy, but it's fun.
Everyone also says that you need to enjoy this time, because it goes away too soon. I am loving every moment of it. It is the best time of my life.
Now, I don't want this blog to be about Paul too much. I'm very happy with him, but I'm keeping a private diary about him for myself. He's my pride and joy, so while I'll talk about him here (he's an important figure in my life), I don't want his life to be a public spectacle.
I do, however, want to have a public, such that a diary reader such as yourself is. I'm addicted to it, what can I say?
So, baby aside, how's life been?
First, the big change is getting used to being not pregnant. Pregnancy was a lot of fun for me, every day, every minute brought something unexpected. Towards the end though, the unexpected was usually uncomfortable, and sometimes quite painful. The last month felt interminable: I just got bigger and bigger, slower and slower, and much more awkward.
Now, I'm sleeker, faster, and much more coordinated. I feel like I've changed from an elephant into a leopard. Well, a fat leopard, I suppose. It still feels good.
Where I'm slim and trim, Ian's now bigger than ever. He weighed in at 587 pounds last week. We've given it some serious thought. He's come so far, it would seem wrong for him to pull back now. I can handle Paul on my own. I hadn't really been cooking dinner during the last stage of my pregnancy. I really really missed making those big meals.
So we're going to get Ian to 600 pounds.
We've already gotten into the old routines, I've learned how to work in the kitchen around Paul's schedule, and I've gotten back into the groove of making the big meals that really appeal to Ian's appetite. I'm still working on growing his appetite back to where it was, but he's making excellent progress. We won't hit 600 pounds before the New year's, but with some good luck, we can get him to 600 for his birthday.
On the weekend I did my first 'adult function' since Paul was born. I went to Michelle's Christmas party, while Ian stayed home with Paul. It's really really really hard to have fun when in the back of your mind, you're wondering how your baby is doing! But, Ian survived, Paul survived, and I too survived. I even did have a little bit of fun, though I didn't close the place.
I did get to spend some time with Amy though. We've sort of grown apart lately. Maybe that's not the right expression. We haven't seen much of each other, for a variety of reasons, so it was good to sit down and talk with her a little bit without a baby hanging off my boob. She spent most of the party eating, which is a feeling I remember well. She's doing a great job of gaining weight on her own. I'm kind of proud of her, she's really come a long way. She really is a great friend, I want to spend more time with her.
Everyone was right.
Assuming you can call me 'sane'.
We've got Paul onto a schedule, he's sleeping well, he's feeding well, we're having a great time together! I won't say it's easy, but it's fun.
Everyone also says that you need to enjoy this time, because it goes away too soon. I am loving every moment of it. It is the best time of my life.
Now, I don't want this blog to be about Paul too much. I'm very happy with him, but I'm keeping a private diary about him for myself. He's my pride and joy, so while I'll talk about him here (he's an important figure in my life), I don't want his life to be a public spectacle.
I do, however, want to have a public, such that a diary reader such as yourself is. I'm addicted to it, what can I say?
So, baby aside, how's life been?
First, the big change is getting used to being not pregnant. Pregnancy was a lot of fun for me, every day, every minute brought something unexpected. Towards the end though, the unexpected was usually uncomfortable, and sometimes quite painful. The last month felt interminable: I just got bigger and bigger, slower and slower, and much more awkward.
Now, I'm sleeker, faster, and much more coordinated. I feel like I've changed from an elephant into a leopard. Well, a fat leopard, I suppose. It still feels good.
Where I'm slim and trim, Ian's now bigger than ever. He weighed in at 587 pounds last week. We've given it some serious thought. He's come so far, it would seem wrong for him to pull back now. I can handle Paul on my own. I hadn't really been cooking dinner during the last stage of my pregnancy. I really really missed making those big meals.
So we're going to get Ian to 600 pounds.
We've already gotten into the old routines, I've learned how to work in the kitchen around Paul's schedule, and I've gotten back into the groove of making the big meals that really appeal to Ian's appetite. I'm still working on growing his appetite back to where it was, but he's making excellent progress. We won't hit 600 pounds before the New year's, but with some good luck, we can get him to 600 for his birthday.
On the weekend I did my first 'adult function' since Paul was born. I went to Michelle's Christmas party, while Ian stayed home with Paul. It's really really really hard to have fun when in the back of your mind, you're wondering how your baby is doing! But, Ian survived, Paul survived, and I too survived. I even did have a little bit of fun, though I didn't close the place.
I did get to spend some time with Amy though. We've sort of grown apart lately. Maybe that's not the right expression. We haven't seen much of each other, for a variety of reasons, so it was good to sit down and talk with her a little bit without a baby hanging off my boob. She spent most of the party eating, which is a feeling I remember well. She's doing a great job of gaining weight on her own. I'm kind of proud of her, she's really come a long way. She really is a great friend, I want to spend more time with her.
