Friday, June 21, 2002
Okay, so we have a bit of a plan for the weekend. Tonight Ian and I are going to do some shopping, and find some decent clothes to go out clubbing in. Tomorrow night we’ll be heading out to Whiskey’s or Phoenix. (We’ll be easy to see, we’re the 800+ pound couple!)
The question is, what style to look for? Loose fitting? I doubt if we find Ian anything tight it will last much longer than the evening! As for me… I don’t know if loose or tight is the way to go. I’d love a nice, tight revealing dress. But a, I don’t know if I can find one in my size and b, I don’t know how long it would fit me!
I wish I could sort my feelings out. For the longest time, it seemed pretty easy. I hated Ian being fat, and I wanted to lose weight myself. Now, suddenly I’m in love with his weight, and I’m not so dedicated to losing weight. (Well, not that I was ever *dedicated* to losing weight, but I really wanted to) I’m watching Ian have the time of his life, and it brings back the good old memories. I so want to join in, just eat until I’m ready to explode, spending the evening with Ian, passing out on the couch completely satisfied. But I’m still HUGE, and it’s just more and more a problem, and I’m getting tired of it.
And if it were just those two issues, it would be complex. But I know that I’m growing apart from my friends. I haven’t seen Jeri in weeks. Last time I saw her she was just under 200 pounds, and looking fabulous. I get the feeling she’s getting back to her old ways, and fat isn’t for her. I miss spending time with Amanda too. She’s so cute, and so much fun to play with.
Rachel, I haven’t really been close with her in years. Jeri’s pregnancy was too much reality for her I think, and she’s certainly not too impressed by my lifestyle. Considering she’s not exactly a size 2 anymore, she needs to grow up.
Jamie is certainly growing up though. I think I might spend more time with her, if I can. She’s so busy, and works at night, so it’s hard. There’s no way she can bug me about my weight any more though!
Hmmm, what I’d really like to do is see if I can find Joanne again. I don’t think about her much any more, but I would absolutely LOVE to see her now. I think she would totally be into what I’ve done, she was the person most like me that I’ve ever met. I don’t even know what country she’s in now though.
The question is, what style to look for? Loose fitting? I doubt if we find Ian anything tight it will last much longer than the evening! As for me… I don’t know if loose or tight is the way to go. I’d love a nice, tight revealing dress. But a, I don’t know if I can find one in my size and b, I don’t know how long it would fit me!
I wish I could sort my feelings out. For the longest time, it seemed pretty easy. I hated Ian being fat, and I wanted to lose weight myself. Now, suddenly I’m in love with his weight, and I’m not so dedicated to losing weight. (Well, not that I was ever *dedicated* to losing weight, but I really wanted to) I’m watching Ian have the time of his life, and it brings back the good old memories. I so want to join in, just eat until I’m ready to explode, spending the evening with Ian, passing out on the couch completely satisfied. But I’m still HUGE, and it’s just more and more a problem, and I’m getting tired of it.
And if it were just those two issues, it would be complex. But I know that I’m growing apart from my friends. I haven’t seen Jeri in weeks. Last time I saw her she was just under 200 pounds, and looking fabulous. I get the feeling she’s getting back to her old ways, and fat isn’t for her. I miss spending time with Amanda too. She’s so cute, and so much fun to play with.
Rachel, I haven’t really been close with her in years. Jeri’s pregnancy was too much reality for her I think, and she’s certainly not too impressed by my lifestyle. Considering she’s not exactly a size 2 anymore, she needs to grow up.
Jamie is certainly growing up though. I think I might spend more time with her, if I can. She’s so busy, and works at night, so it’s hard. There’s no way she can bug me about my weight any more though!
Hmmm, what I’d really like to do is see if I can find Joanne again. I don’t think about her much any more, but I would absolutely LOVE to see her now. I think she would totally be into what I’ve done, she was the person most like me that I’ve ever met. I don’t even know what country she’s in now though.
// posted by Charlotte @ 4:11:00 PM 
