Wednesday, July 17, 2002
I’m down another 4 pounds.
Woohoo!
That puts me down 17 pounds in the last month.
Sounds pretty good, until I realise that it puts me at 443 pounds.
Some days, I like my fat.
Some days, I love my fat.
Some days, I don’t even notice my fat.
Some days, I dislike my fat.
Some days, I LOATHE my fat.
Guess which kind of day today is?
I’m tired of being this huge hulk. Chairs hurt, clothes suck and it’s fucking HOT. I get called ‘Big Mac’ and ‘Chubby Char’ enough that it just grates on my nerves.
I’ve been losing so much weight, 16 pounds is a LOT! But I’m still fucking enormous. I’m bigger than Ian, and he’s a fucking whale!
The worst part, it’s my own damn fault. I ate like a pig for two years straight, just ballooning, not caring that maybe I wouldn’t like to be fat at some point. It’s not as simple as just stopping eating. Now I always have to watch what I eat, I have to start to exercise. I have to do all that bullshit I never had to do before, and never wanted to do.
What’s worse, I have to do it while Ian is stuffing his face as he tries to get to 1000 tonnes or whatever the hell he wants to do. I know he’ll support me if I really ask him to, but I don’t know he really wants to.
Hopefully by tomorrow I’ll be happier again. I like the days where I love my fat. I wish I could do that today, I really really do. I’m just a fat bitter cow right now.
What else can I complain about?
Jeri’s lost more weight, she’s like 180 pounds now. I remember when we were younger, we’d make fun of people that fat. Now I’d kill to be skinny like her! Makes me think of the days when I’d get all bloated. I couldn’t complain to any body, because who’s going to have sympathy for the 110 pound chick retaining water? That sucked.
The same thing now… I can’t complain to anyone, this is my own fucking fault. I can tell people to shut the hell up, of course. That’s kind of gratifying. I could go stuff myself with every candy bar in the machine, but I don’t have that kind of change, and I’m not sure it would really help the situation very much either.
Oh well.
Tomorrow’s a new day.
Woohoo!
That puts me down 17 pounds in the last month.
Sounds pretty good, until I realise that it puts me at 443 pounds.
Some days, I like my fat.
Some days, I love my fat.
Some days, I don’t even notice my fat.
Some days, I dislike my fat.
Some days, I LOATHE my fat.
Guess which kind of day today is?
I’m tired of being this huge hulk. Chairs hurt, clothes suck and it’s fucking HOT. I get called ‘Big Mac’ and ‘Chubby Char’ enough that it just grates on my nerves.
I’ve been losing so much weight, 16 pounds is a LOT! But I’m still fucking enormous. I’m bigger than Ian, and he’s a fucking whale!
The worst part, it’s my own damn fault. I ate like a pig for two years straight, just ballooning, not caring that maybe I wouldn’t like to be fat at some point. It’s not as simple as just stopping eating. Now I always have to watch what I eat, I have to start to exercise. I have to do all that bullshit I never had to do before, and never wanted to do.
What’s worse, I have to do it while Ian is stuffing his face as he tries to get to 1000 tonnes or whatever the hell he wants to do. I know he’ll support me if I really ask him to, but I don’t know he really wants to.
Hopefully by tomorrow I’ll be happier again. I like the days where I love my fat. I wish I could do that today, I really really do. I’m just a fat bitter cow right now.
What else can I complain about?
Jeri’s lost more weight, she’s like 180 pounds now. I remember when we were younger, we’d make fun of people that fat. Now I’d kill to be skinny like her! Makes me think of the days when I’d get all bloated. I couldn’t complain to any body, because who’s going to have sympathy for the 110 pound chick retaining water? That sucked.
The same thing now… I can’t complain to anyone, this is my own fucking fault. I can tell people to shut the hell up, of course. That’s kind of gratifying. I could go stuff myself with every candy bar in the machine, but I don’t have that kind of change, and I’m not sure it would really help the situation very much either.
Oh well.
Tomorrow’s a new day.
// posted by Charlotte @ 2:40:00 PM 
