Wednesday, July 10, 2002
Unreal.
Ian and I did our weekly weigh in this morning. Ian likes to do it weekly, as it is a long enough period for ‘serious gain’, but frequent enough to satisfy his curiosity. I used to do it sort of whenever I got curious, but I must admit, I love seeing Ian’s weekly weigh ins! He’s become my project, my work, my life, my obsession (in a good way!). Just seeing that satisfied look as he leans back, his stomach full to capacity, brings me a nice little shiver. Watching as he plows through a plate of my three cheese macaroni, I get a very agreeable thrill. Watching him waddle through the door when he gets home, the feeling of his stomach pressing against mine in bed, seeing his billowing clothes get tighter by the day. I love all of it, wouldn’t give it up for anything.
But most of all, I know he absolutely loves his life right now, and I know it’s because I’m such an important part of it.
So this morning Ian got up on the scale and he has gained EIGHT pounds since last week! I’ve been feeding him more and more. I’ve been serving him a high carb ‘sports drink’ which certainly seems to be doing it’s damage. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that he would gain more this week than ever before.
I myself have lost another 4. I know you’re not supposed to lose more than 2 a week, but surely when you’re hyper fat like I am, it’s not a huge deal. I’m sure the fact I’m spending more energy than I have in years, and really eating sensibly is a valid reason. I do have more energy than I’ve had in a while, I’m thinking by the time I hit 400, I might be quite okay with things. But who knows? We’ll see how I feel then.
Speaking of 400, Ian is going to hit that pretty soon, the next couple of weeks if he’ll let me keep feeding him past the weekend. I had no idea I could get him this fat this fast! I thought, when I originally agreed to let him gain weight, that he might hit 400 in late fall, if ever.
I definitely thought it wouldn’t be until next summer when Ian might outweigh me. Looks like that could even come before the end of summer, if I can put my mind to it!
I’m under 450 pounds for the first time since… god knows when. Ian seems a little disappointed that I’m still losing, but tough for him. I’ve been too big for months now, I need to be comfortable in my own body. I never ever seriously imagined I’d be over 450. Heck, even getting to 400 was a semi-serious goal, along the lines of ‘if it happens, it happens’. How I got to 457, I’ll never know.
I’d like to set a long term goal for myself, but I really don’t know what I want. I’d like to get to 400 pounds, but that’s not long term, is it? Maybe it is.
I’ve seen Jeri playing soccer with Amanda. Jeri looks so happy being so ‘slim’ after the last few years. I’d love to teach Amanda to play basketball, but I’d have to get down to maybe 200 before I could really do that.
My other dream, becoming a teacher, doesn’t have a specific weight requirement. But of course, I need to be able to fit into the seats at Teacher’s College, plus I’m not sure I want to be known as ‘that fat art teacher’. Especially with the name Miss McDonald, that’s just ASKING for trouble!
Ian and I did our weekly weigh in this morning. Ian likes to do it weekly, as it is a long enough period for ‘serious gain’, but frequent enough to satisfy his curiosity. I used to do it sort of whenever I got curious, but I must admit, I love seeing Ian’s weekly weigh ins! He’s become my project, my work, my life, my obsession (in a good way!). Just seeing that satisfied look as he leans back, his stomach full to capacity, brings me a nice little shiver. Watching as he plows through a plate of my three cheese macaroni, I get a very agreeable thrill. Watching him waddle through the door when he gets home, the feeling of his stomach pressing against mine in bed, seeing his billowing clothes get tighter by the day. I love all of it, wouldn’t give it up for anything.
But most of all, I know he absolutely loves his life right now, and I know it’s because I’m such an important part of it.
So this morning Ian got up on the scale and he has gained EIGHT pounds since last week! I’ve been feeding him more and more. I’ve been serving him a high carb ‘sports drink’ which certainly seems to be doing it’s damage. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that he would gain more this week than ever before.
I myself have lost another 4. I know you’re not supposed to lose more than 2 a week, but surely when you’re hyper fat like I am, it’s not a huge deal. I’m sure the fact I’m spending more energy than I have in years, and really eating sensibly is a valid reason. I do have more energy than I’ve had in a while, I’m thinking by the time I hit 400, I might be quite okay with things. But who knows? We’ll see how I feel then.
Speaking of 400, Ian is going to hit that pretty soon, the next couple of weeks if he’ll let me keep feeding him past the weekend. I had no idea I could get him this fat this fast! I thought, when I originally agreed to let him gain weight, that he might hit 400 in late fall, if ever.
I definitely thought it wouldn’t be until next summer when Ian might outweigh me. Looks like that could even come before the end of summer, if I can put my mind to it!
I’m under 450 pounds for the first time since… god knows when. Ian seems a little disappointed that I’m still losing, but tough for him. I’ve been too big for months now, I need to be comfortable in my own body. I never ever seriously imagined I’d be over 450. Heck, even getting to 400 was a semi-serious goal, along the lines of ‘if it happens, it happens’. How I got to 457, I’ll never know.
I’d like to set a long term goal for myself, but I really don’t know what I want. I’d like to get to 400 pounds, but that’s not long term, is it? Maybe it is.
I’ve seen Jeri playing soccer with Amanda. Jeri looks so happy being so ‘slim’ after the last few years. I’d love to teach Amanda to play basketball, but I’d have to get down to maybe 200 before I could really do that.
My other dream, becoming a teacher, doesn’t have a specific weight requirement. But of course, I need to be able to fit into the seats at Teacher’s College, plus I’m not sure I want to be known as ‘that fat art teacher’. Especially with the name Miss McDonald, that’s just ASKING for trouble!
// posted by Charlotte @ 11:44:00 AM 
