Tuesday, July 02, 2002
What a fun weekend!
I finally got to spend some quality time with Amanda. I was there for so much of her life at the beginning, I really, really missed being with her every day. I knew it was something I had to give up when I moved in with Ian, but some days… I just miss her so much. She’s so cute, so bright, so energetic! She has an infectious way of bringing out those qualities in me too.
She’s over three years old now, she doesn’t remember how much I put in when she was young. Helping Jeri in the middle of the night, changing diapers, making bottles, doing laundry (how can someone so small have so much laundry?!). But now, I just get the fun stuff! I get to play, I get to paint, I get to read to her.
On the weekend Jeri played some soccer. These are the guys she used to play soccer with, before Amanda was born. So that’s like 4 years ago I guess. I remember watching Jeri play, I was always impressed how she could keep up with the guys. Well, not any more. Granted, she’s still not in her top physical shape, but she was pretty rusty out there. I’m sure she’ll get better as she gets more playing time in. Besides, these guys haven’t had to take a 4 year break like Jeri has!
It was good seeing her out there too. I do miss the time I spent with Jeri, back when we were both getting big. But I do like how she’s really turned her body right back around! She has a lot more energy than she did just a few months ago. She’ll have her soccer body back. I wasn’t sure at first. When she said that was her goal, it’s hard to picture a 400 pound woman playing soccer, even if you knew that 400 pound woman when she was 120 pounds! But she’s on her way there, her game will get better as she gets trimmer.
Seeing her out there makes me kinda wish I could play some volleyball this summer. I mean, I guess I COULD. But there’s no way I can move like I used to. Hell, if I go for a dig, it could be four or five points before I can get out of the sand! Hmm, I haven’t been to a beach yet this summer. You know… it’s entirely possible I could not stand up in sand at all. It was pretty tough last summer, and I’m bigger now! And Ian wouldn’t be any help, he has enough problems getting his gut off the couch these days.
Again, this looks like regrets. It’s not. I loved every morsel of food that got me here. I loved every moment of being the biggest woman I know. But the more I see my thoughts here, the more I’m sure it’s time to slim back down. It’s time for Ian’s moment in the sun as the biggest guy I know. I’m sure once he’s there, he’ll slim back down too. Or not, it’s up to him. If he wants to be 5, 6, 700 pounds, I’ll be there for him.
Oh, and Ian’s weekend! I thought that this feeding would last a week or two. Who knew that it could be so exciting to watch Ian getting fatter? Who thought that I would ENJOY dedicating my time to making Ian’s life very easy? I cook, I clean, I do just about everything. And that’s not exactly easy at 450 pounds! Once I get to three hundred, this would be a breeze, I think. I don’t think I could convince Ian to wait. Or maybe I could. Can’t hurt to ask.
Anyway, I spent all the time I had feeding Ian. I bought this stuff called ‘Cytomax’. It’s a high energy drink that is just full of carbohydrates. It’s a little pricey, but tastes like Kool-Aid, and has way more calories in it. Ian’s capacity is getting up there, which means I spent more time bringing him stuff to eat. He used to eat, then rest. Now he eats longer and rests less. I guess his stomach is adapting to having that much food in it.
I still love how he gets when he’s completely full, especially when he’s already kind of sleepy. He just gets kind of glazed over. He lays back, with his hands on his stomach. If I’m lucky, he’s just wearing his robe, and I can see his stomach stretched tight. I’ve been doing my best with the cocoa butter, to prevent stretch marks, and I think it’s worked pretty well. He’s got a few, here and there, but nothing too bad. Of course, I rather enjoy applying the cocoa butter to his stomach, especially when it’s stretched tight, so there’s no real surprise there!
Last night, as we were going out, Ian seemed that much larger. That much more awkward. It took him a while to get up off the couch, and forever to put his sandels on. I like to make a difference!
I finally got to spend some quality time with Amanda. I was there for so much of her life at the beginning, I really, really missed being with her every day. I knew it was something I had to give up when I moved in with Ian, but some days… I just miss her so much. She’s so cute, so bright, so energetic! She has an infectious way of bringing out those qualities in me too.
She’s over three years old now, she doesn’t remember how much I put in when she was young. Helping Jeri in the middle of the night, changing diapers, making bottles, doing laundry (how can someone so small have so much laundry?!). But now, I just get the fun stuff! I get to play, I get to paint, I get to read to her.
On the weekend Jeri played some soccer. These are the guys she used to play soccer with, before Amanda was born. So that’s like 4 years ago I guess. I remember watching Jeri play, I was always impressed how she could keep up with the guys. Well, not any more. Granted, she’s still not in her top physical shape, but she was pretty rusty out there. I’m sure she’ll get better as she gets more playing time in. Besides, these guys haven’t had to take a 4 year break like Jeri has!
It was good seeing her out there too. I do miss the time I spent with Jeri, back when we were both getting big. But I do like how she’s really turned her body right back around! She has a lot more energy than she did just a few months ago. She’ll have her soccer body back. I wasn’t sure at first. When she said that was her goal, it’s hard to picture a 400 pound woman playing soccer, even if you knew that 400 pound woman when she was 120 pounds! But she’s on her way there, her game will get better as she gets trimmer.
Seeing her out there makes me kinda wish I could play some volleyball this summer. I mean, I guess I COULD. But there’s no way I can move like I used to. Hell, if I go for a dig, it could be four or five points before I can get out of the sand! Hmm, I haven’t been to a beach yet this summer. You know… it’s entirely possible I could not stand up in sand at all. It was pretty tough last summer, and I’m bigger now! And Ian wouldn’t be any help, he has enough problems getting his gut off the couch these days.
Again, this looks like regrets. It’s not. I loved every morsel of food that got me here. I loved every moment of being the biggest woman I know. But the more I see my thoughts here, the more I’m sure it’s time to slim back down. It’s time for Ian’s moment in the sun as the biggest guy I know. I’m sure once he’s there, he’ll slim back down too. Or not, it’s up to him. If he wants to be 5, 6, 700 pounds, I’ll be there for him.
Oh, and Ian’s weekend! I thought that this feeding would last a week or two. Who knew that it could be so exciting to watch Ian getting fatter? Who thought that I would ENJOY dedicating my time to making Ian’s life very easy? I cook, I clean, I do just about everything. And that’s not exactly easy at 450 pounds! Once I get to three hundred, this would be a breeze, I think. I don’t think I could convince Ian to wait. Or maybe I could. Can’t hurt to ask.
Anyway, I spent all the time I had feeding Ian. I bought this stuff called ‘Cytomax’. It’s a high energy drink that is just full of carbohydrates. It’s a little pricey, but tastes like Kool-Aid, and has way more calories in it. Ian’s capacity is getting up there, which means I spent more time bringing him stuff to eat. He used to eat, then rest. Now he eats longer and rests less. I guess his stomach is adapting to having that much food in it.
I still love how he gets when he’s completely full, especially when he’s already kind of sleepy. He just gets kind of glazed over. He lays back, with his hands on his stomach. If I’m lucky, he’s just wearing his robe, and I can see his stomach stretched tight. I’ve been doing my best with the cocoa butter, to prevent stretch marks, and I think it’s worked pretty well. He’s got a few, here and there, but nothing too bad. Of course, I rather enjoy applying the cocoa butter to his stomach, especially when it’s stretched tight, so there’s no real surprise there!
Last night, as we were going out, Ian seemed that much larger. That much more awkward. It took him a while to get up off the couch, and forever to put his sandels on. I like to make a difference!
// posted by Charlotte @ 3:31:00 PM 
