Monday, March 10, 2003
This is for Harry!
First:
Sorry Andi… I haven’t bought any honey to try eating peas on a knife! I do want to try that, but alas, it will take time. I know it will be as sweet at you are though!
Second: for Harry, “Talk about your weight gain as well...Your pig out sessions with Ian and the most you guys ever consumed...favorite fattening foods...”
Okay, I can do that.
It’s sort of funny think about my ‘weight gain’ as one topic. It’s not, it’s really about many different aspects of my personality, and time. I can say that I did not wake up one day and go… ‘gee, I think I’ll gain 300 pounds now’.
The best place to start would be, of course, the beginning.
In high school I never thought of myself as an average girl, but in retrospect, I was, and it is average to consider yourself not average! I valued being thin because that’s what an average girl does in highschool. My friends were thin, my boyfriends liked thin girls, so I was thin!
I was lucky too, I had gone through my last growth spurt, which made me tall, and skinny. Staying skinny is easy, you just don’t eat a lot! Again, looking back I probably had an eating disorder, I didn’t eat much. I snacked on celery and carrots, I ate salads, or picked at fast food that friends had. But I was also active, I played basketball and volleyball, so I was pretty fit I guess.
In university I was less active, I did play pickup sports from time to time. I still was careful about what I ate, but I was also learning about ‘fitting in’, peer pressure and such. I really wanted to stay who I was, and I maintained my weight even as other friends gained the ‘freshmen 15’ or succumbed to the munchies. It wasn’t that much effort for me, and I didn’t feel I was missing anything by not getting fat.
So what changed? My friend got pregnant. She was in a really bad situation with her boyfriend (exboyfriend!), her job, and her living situation. Under the best of circumstances, I’d understand if she started overeating to cope with stress, but all of those things together really whacked her badly. She overate like it was a sport!
At first I thought it was kinda funny, watching her try to cope with life as best she could. It was weird watching her fit body (she was a good soccer player) bloat up as her nine months progressed. Towards the end she was getting quite large. We even talked about it. I thought she would be miserable, going from 120 to 200 pounds like that. But she wasn’t. She said she had enjoyed feeling the changes she’d gone through. She also enjoyed finally being able to ENJOY food. She could find things she liked and eat as much as she wanted. She also enjoyed people reacting to how she’d changed! She liked the idea of people’s eyes going wide when they saw how wide she was.
After her baby was born, she decided to keep going the way she had. She enjoyed her appetite, and wanted to continue. If that meant gaining weight, then so be it. She loved to eat!
Also, after her baby was born, she needed a place to live. I offered to room with her, since my lease was up too. It wasn’t long before her eating had rubbed off on me. I figured if she could be happy eating everything she wanted, why can’t I be happy eating anything I wanted? So we did.
Quickly it dawned on me that we could save a lot of money if we made the food ourselves. Since she was busy with her baby, I took it upon myself to learn how to cook. I viewed preparing a meal to a work of art, instead of paint or marble, I would work with ingredients to create something to tempt the senses. As I learned what we liked, I learned how to make great, filling meals.
It wasn’t long before I started gaining weight myself, as my friend continued her expansion. I enjoyed as much as she did people reacting to her new size. Asking how she could let herself go like that, and yet she was happy! The funny part is no one ever commented on my weight… I was with her, and she was HUGE, so what if I was 20 lbs heavier?
Eventually we revelled in the weight gain itself. Even though she had a head start, I was trying to catch her. We were always pushing our appetites to the limit, in a sort of game to see who could eat more!
But, as all good things… this came to an end. As her daughter became more and more mobile (crawling, walking, running!), she realised that being very large would become a problem. She just couldn’t run after her daughter, and she wanted to be involved in her life growing up, how involved could she be at this size? So she started to watch what she ate.
I, on the other hand, was having the time of my life! I was big. I was eating what I wanted. I loved the changes my body was undergoing. I loved getting new clothes as I gained.
That’s when I met Ian. Ian had always dated fit women. Why? Probably for the same reasons I was always thin. It’s just what he’d always done. He was very taken by me, for reasons beyond my weight, but the weight thing did intrigue him. He found the idea of my weight gain very exciting!
So I started spending more and more time with Ian, visiting his place. He has a great job, and could afford to spoil me. I’d never eaten better! Not only was I enjoying my food, but Ian was enjoying it. He loved to explore what I could eat, how much, and he enjoyed testing my limits more than I did. He was very accommodating, and, well, he spoilt me!
At this point my friend felt my presence was a little detrimental, she was trying to lose weight, and I was trying to gain weight. It was putting a strain on our friendship. Her situation was much better, she could afford to live with just herself and her daughter. So I moved in with Ian!
At this point I really could focus on my fuelling my appetite. I ate without abandon, enjoying very nice meals, some very good TLC. I was in heaven, and my weight gain really took off.
So what did I enjoy about the weight? I loved how I could enter a room and be the immediate centre of attention. I liked that I had control over my body, I was fat because I wanted to be. Not for any other reason.
I hope that’s good for you Harry!
If you want to know more (I’ll try to write about a ‘feeding session’ sometime!), then just ask, okay?
And, if any other readers want to read something specific, just ask!
First:
Sorry Andi… I haven’t bought any honey to try eating peas on a knife! I do want to try that, but alas, it will take time. I know it will be as sweet at you are though!
Second: for Harry, “Talk about your weight gain as well...Your pig out sessions with Ian and the most you guys ever consumed...favorite fattening foods...”
Okay, I can do that.
It’s sort of funny think about my ‘weight gain’ as one topic. It’s not, it’s really about many different aspects of my personality, and time. I can say that I did not wake up one day and go… ‘gee, I think I’ll gain 300 pounds now’.
The best place to start would be, of course, the beginning.
In high school I never thought of myself as an average girl, but in retrospect, I was, and it is average to consider yourself not average! I valued being thin because that’s what an average girl does in highschool. My friends were thin, my boyfriends liked thin girls, so I was thin!
I was lucky too, I had gone through my last growth spurt, which made me tall, and skinny. Staying skinny is easy, you just don’t eat a lot! Again, looking back I probably had an eating disorder, I didn’t eat much. I snacked on celery and carrots, I ate salads, or picked at fast food that friends had. But I was also active, I played basketball and volleyball, so I was pretty fit I guess.
In university I was less active, I did play pickup sports from time to time. I still was careful about what I ate, but I was also learning about ‘fitting in’, peer pressure and such. I really wanted to stay who I was, and I maintained my weight even as other friends gained the ‘freshmen 15’ or succumbed to the munchies. It wasn’t that much effort for me, and I didn’t feel I was missing anything by not getting fat.
So what changed? My friend got pregnant. She was in a really bad situation with her boyfriend (exboyfriend!), her job, and her living situation. Under the best of circumstances, I’d understand if she started overeating to cope with stress, but all of those things together really whacked her badly. She overate like it was a sport!
At first I thought it was kinda funny, watching her try to cope with life as best she could. It was weird watching her fit body (she was a good soccer player) bloat up as her nine months progressed. Towards the end she was getting quite large. We even talked about it. I thought she would be miserable, going from 120 to 200 pounds like that. But she wasn’t. She said she had enjoyed feeling the changes she’d gone through. She also enjoyed finally being able to ENJOY food. She could find things she liked and eat as much as she wanted. She also enjoyed people reacting to how she’d changed! She liked the idea of people’s eyes going wide when they saw how wide she was.
After her baby was born, she decided to keep going the way she had. She enjoyed her appetite, and wanted to continue. If that meant gaining weight, then so be it. She loved to eat!
Also, after her baby was born, she needed a place to live. I offered to room with her, since my lease was up too. It wasn’t long before her eating had rubbed off on me. I figured if she could be happy eating everything she wanted, why can’t I be happy eating anything I wanted? So we did.
Quickly it dawned on me that we could save a lot of money if we made the food ourselves. Since she was busy with her baby, I took it upon myself to learn how to cook. I viewed preparing a meal to a work of art, instead of paint or marble, I would work with ingredients to create something to tempt the senses. As I learned what we liked, I learned how to make great, filling meals.
It wasn’t long before I started gaining weight myself, as my friend continued her expansion. I enjoyed as much as she did people reacting to her new size. Asking how she could let herself go like that, and yet she was happy! The funny part is no one ever commented on my weight… I was with her, and she was HUGE, so what if I was 20 lbs heavier?
Eventually we revelled in the weight gain itself. Even though she had a head start, I was trying to catch her. We were always pushing our appetites to the limit, in a sort of game to see who could eat more!
But, as all good things… this came to an end. As her daughter became more and more mobile (crawling, walking, running!), she realised that being very large would become a problem. She just couldn’t run after her daughter, and she wanted to be involved in her life growing up, how involved could she be at this size? So she started to watch what she ate.
I, on the other hand, was having the time of my life! I was big. I was eating what I wanted. I loved the changes my body was undergoing. I loved getting new clothes as I gained.
That’s when I met Ian. Ian had always dated fit women. Why? Probably for the same reasons I was always thin. It’s just what he’d always done. He was very taken by me, for reasons beyond my weight, but the weight thing did intrigue him. He found the idea of my weight gain very exciting!
So I started spending more and more time with Ian, visiting his place. He has a great job, and could afford to spoil me. I’d never eaten better! Not only was I enjoying my food, but Ian was enjoying it. He loved to explore what I could eat, how much, and he enjoyed testing my limits more than I did. He was very accommodating, and, well, he spoilt me!
At this point my friend felt my presence was a little detrimental, she was trying to lose weight, and I was trying to gain weight. It was putting a strain on our friendship. Her situation was much better, she could afford to live with just herself and her daughter. So I moved in with Ian!
At this point I really could focus on my fuelling my appetite. I ate without abandon, enjoying very nice meals, some very good TLC. I was in heaven, and my weight gain really took off.
So what did I enjoy about the weight? I loved how I could enter a room and be the immediate centre of attention. I liked that I had control over my body, I was fat because I wanted to be. Not for any other reason.
I hope that’s good for you Harry!
If you want to know more (I’ll try to write about a ‘feeding session’ sometime!), then just ask, okay?
And, if any other readers want to read something specific, just ask!
// posted by Charlotte @ 1:29:00 PM 
