Thursday, August 07, 2003
Ian’s back up!
I’m glad to hear that Ian had a good weekend. He’s back over 460 pounds (461 as of Wednesday), which again puts him at a higher weight than I ever (officially…) was. It’s a very comforting thought, and I’m not really sure why, but who am I to argue with how I feel?
I’m glad he was here for the weekend. Not just because I got to see him, and not because I got to feed him, and not because I got to have sex with him. I liked that HE came to ME this time. Usually I’m going home to Toronto. That makes more sense, what with feeling like Toronto is my home and I’m just a visitor here in London. That’s certainly true enough, but it has that feeling of… equality. Well, it makes more sense in my head than in writing.
Things are in motion though, we should be getting together soon. I don’t want to write about it too much, for fear of jynxing it. I’m not really superstitious, and yet I’d feel foolish if I didn’t believe and it were true. So maybe I am superstitious, how silly is that?
I’m so excited that Ian is back up in weight though. I still dream about when he’s twice my size! Even now, the size difference is pretty noticeable. He makes me feel… well, not skinny, but I don’t feel huge when he’s around either. Actually, I don’t feel huge much, unless I surrounded by skinny people (which happens at work… it doesn’t help that the store is a touch cramped with makes it quite tight for me!). Of course, Amy’s not as thin as she used to be, so I don’t feel so big around her either.
I’m glad to hear that Ian had a good weekend. He’s back over 460 pounds (461 as of Wednesday), which again puts him at a higher weight than I ever (officially…) was. It’s a very comforting thought, and I’m not really sure why, but who am I to argue with how I feel?
I’m glad he was here for the weekend. Not just because I got to see him, and not because I got to feed him, and not because I got to have sex with him. I liked that HE came to ME this time. Usually I’m going home to Toronto. That makes more sense, what with feeling like Toronto is my home and I’m just a visitor here in London. That’s certainly true enough, but it has that feeling of… equality. Well, it makes more sense in my head than in writing.
Things are in motion though, we should be getting together soon. I don’t want to write about it too much, for fear of jynxing it. I’m not really superstitious, and yet I’d feel foolish if I didn’t believe and it were true. So maybe I am superstitious, how silly is that?
I’m so excited that Ian is back up in weight though. I still dream about when he’s twice my size! Even now, the size difference is pretty noticeable. He makes me feel… well, not skinny, but I don’t feel huge when he’s around either. Actually, I don’t feel huge much, unless I surrounded by skinny people (which happens at work… it doesn’t help that the store is a touch cramped with makes it quite tight for me!). Of course, Amy’s not as thin as she used to be, so I don’t feel so big around her either.
// posted by Charlotte @ 3:59:00 PM 
