Thursday, July 22, 2004
Shelley’s Turning 30!
I haven’t thought much about her in the last few years.
Now I feel bad about it. But after she graduated, she went to work at the National Gallery. We saw each other a few times, but not often, and by the time I graduated, well, I don’t think I’ve seen her since.
Now she’s turning 30, has gone out of her way to invite everyone up. It’s not until mid August, so I can still set aside time to make it up there. That’s great!
So much has changed since I saw her. When I first read the invitation, I wondered what she’d think. I don’t know.
I’m really worried what she’d think too. She’s definitely an important person in my life. She wasn’t the first girl I was with, but she was the first girl that I held hands with in public. So… she’d be the person that let me show the world that I was bisexual. Such an odd memory. I wasn’t scared of anything. It was mostly a matter of worried if I’d eventually be worried. So many people seemed to problems with it, I wondered if it would ever come back to haunt me. Aside from this awkward paragraph, I’d say it hasn’t. It was a big step, and yet it was a non-step. Of course, I’ve never told Ian about Shelley. He’s one of the people I was worried this might come back to haunt me, even though I didn’t know him.
I’m not sure I’ll tell Ian or not. Maybe let him find out if it comes up. If it doesn’t come up, then it wouldn’t hurt him. Of course, if he reads this, then he’ll know.
What I’ve been thinking about is what she’d have thought about my weight. I doubt she’d have gone for it. Although, if I was with her, I doubt I’d have gone for it either. She was a swimmer, and kept fit, and quite powerful too! Of course, Ian was in pretty good shape when I met him, but he already knew he liked bigger girls. Maybe Shelley secretly wanted to date fat women too?
Look at me ramble. We only dated for a few months, never exclusively. On the other hand I’ve never been one to go back and restart life with exes. Of course, we were exes and friends for a while too. It was sort of like it never happened with us. I wonder how she feels about that?
I can’t wait to see her.
She meant so much to me. I hope she still does.
Now I feel bad about it. But after she graduated, she went to work at the National Gallery. We saw each other a few times, but not often, and by the time I graduated, well, I don’t think I’ve seen her since.
Now she’s turning 30, has gone out of her way to invite everyone up. It’s not until mid August, so I can still set aside time to make it up there. That’s great!
So much has changed since I saw her. When I first read the invitation, I wondered what she’d think. I don’t know.
I’m really worried what she’d think too. She’s definitely an important person in my life. She wasn’t the first girl I was with, but she was the first girl that I held hands with in public. So… she’d be the person that let me show the world that I was bisexual. Such an odd memory. I wasn’t scared of anything. It was mostly a matter of worried if I’d eventually be worried. So many people seemed to problems with it, I wondered if it would ever come back to haunt me. Aside from this awkward paragraph, I’d say it hasn’t. It was a big step, and yet it was a non-step. Of course, I’ve never told Ian about Shelley. He’s one of the people I was worried this might come back to haunt me, even though I didn’t know him.
I’m not sure I’ll tell Ian or not. Maybe let him find out if it comes up. If it doesn’t come up, then it wouldn’t hurt him. Of course, if he reads this, then he’ll know.
What I’ve been thinking about is what she’d have thought about my weight. I doubt she’d have gone for it. Although, if I was with her, I doubt I’d have gone for it either. She was a swimmer, and kept fit, and quite powerful too! Of course, Ian was in pretty good shape when I met him, but he already knew he liked bigger girls. Maybe Shelley secretly wanted to date fat women too?
Look at me ramble. We only dated for a few months, never exclusively. On the other hand I’ve never been one to go back and restart life with exes. Of course, we were exes and friends for a while too. It was sort of like it never happened with us. I wonder how she feels about that?
I can’t wait to see her.
She meant so much to me. I hope she still does.
// posted by Charlotte @ 4:18:00 PM 
