Thursday, August 19, 2004
Reverse Anorexia?
I’ve heard that bodybuilders can be diagnosed with a ‘reverse anorexia’; no matter how big these guys get, they see a 98 pound weakling in the mirror and try to become bigger.
Can the same be said of gainers?
Lately I’ve been feeling skinny. I certainly understand that, at 268 pounds, the people who would agree with me are far and few between. On the other hand, it’s what I’m feeling, so it’s not a trivial matter to me.
Now, I do remember days where the thought of eating something terrified me. I knew that if I ate, my body just might store it as fat somewhere. I’ve gotten over that, and then some. Perhaps there’s a part of me that just doesn’t like the idea of being happy.
However, the fact remains, as I lost weight, it felt good. My body changed in positive ways. I had more energy, better balance, I felt that I could DO more. So even though I’d reach my goals, I’d lose more weight. Well, lately the changes haven’t been all that noticeable. No more energy, no more bounce in my step, nothing. I’ve definitely reached the point that I’d hoped to reach.
But now I miss the jiggle.
So, I’m working my way back upto 280. My appetite isn’t at the levels it once was, and it’s certainly nothing compared to Ian’s. But I’ll get there, and hopefully stay there for a while: until I get pregnant.
Of course, I need to work on getting Ian back to twice my weight. 560 should look just about perfect on him.
Can the same be said of gainers?
Lately I’ve been feeling skinny. I certainly understand that, at 268 pounds, the people who would agree with me are far and few between. On the other hand, it’s what I’m feeling, so it’s not a trivial matter to me.
Now, I do remember days where the thought of eating something terrified me. I knew that if I ate, my body just might store it as fat somewhere. I’ve gotten over that, and then some. Perhaps there’s a part of me that just doesn’t like the idea of being happy.
However, the fact remains, as I lost weight, it felt good. My body changed in positive ways. I had more energy, better balance, I felt that I could DO more. So even though I’d reach my goals, I’d lose more weight. Well, lately the changes haven’t been all that noticeable. No more energy, no more bounce in my step, nothing. I’ve definitely reached the point that I’d hoped to reach.
But now I miss the jiggle.
So, I’m working my way back upto 280. My appetite isn’t at the levels it once was, and it’s certainly nothing compared to Ian’s. But I’ll get there, and hopefully stay there for a while: until I get pregnant.
Of course, I need to work on getting Ian back to twice my weight. 560 should look just about perfect on him.
// posted by Charlotte @ 10:39:00 AM 
