Thursday, September 27, 2007

Karen & Michael: Getting Up There

Karen was with her new roommates it was their first Friday night together at University, and they were looking for a great place to drink, dance, and generally have fun. They got a few suggestions from classmates who lived in town and before long they'd decided on where to go.

They got dressed up, which was fun. It was their first chance to really see each other ready for 'clubbing'. They made sure everyone was going to fit in with the group. A quick once over showed they all had impeccable taste, and they were all gifted with athletic bodies with just enough curves to be irresistible.

The girls found the club, and already standing in line outside they could tell by the crowd, by the thumping of the music coming through the wall that they'd found the perfect place. They were quickly admitted and set about exploring.

There was a large dance floor, flanked on one side by a long bar, and on the other sides were risers where people were dancing. Karen and her friends took a moment to take it all in. The girls dancing on the risers were good, but Karen and her friends all smiled silently to themselves: they knew they could dance better.

They went to the bar and ordered drinks. While her friends dispersed onto the floor to get their grooves, Karen stopped to talk with the bartender for a moment. She'd noticed that most of the staff were just working part time for a few extra bucks, but the bartender looked like a pro, like he'd been at it a while, and really cared about his customers. She found out that his name was Tim, and he'd worked a few bars over the years, and really liked this one. Different nights they appealed to different crowds, and he was sure that Karen and her friends would love Fridays.

Karen eventually hit the floor and before long it was clear that Karen and her friends were among the cream of the dancers. They'd collected small knots of people around them admiring their moves, and their bodies.

They had a fantastic night, and were told they could use the risers if they chose to come back next Friday. Naturally they took the opportunity.

***

The end of the semester was coming up, Karen didn't go out with her roommates on Friday nights any more. Her soft generous curves didn't fit in with their angular bodies. She preferred to go out on Thursday nights where people like Michael could appreciate her mix of generous proportions and dancing skills.

It was fun for her to dress up on Thursday night. She was never quite sure what would fit, what would be obscenely tight, and what she just couldn't squeeze into at all. It was getting harder and harder to find a selection of clothes that would fit her growing body, but she always managed to put on something that would emphasise her voluptuousness as well as let her dance.

The line up was always short on a Thursday night, but if there was one Karen was always allowed right in anyway. Once getting in she always made a beeline for the bar where Tim always had a plate of food waiting for her. It wasn't a lot, but it was enough to keep her energy up.

Tim and Karen would talk for a few minutes while she ate. They'd catch up on their week, talk about anything that struck them as peculiar that night, or even about how much weight Karen had gained. At first they were both a little uncomfortable talking about Karen's weight, but once the ice had broken he was happy to notice it, and she was relieved to have someone to talk about it with. This week she was mentioning how tough it was to tie her boots, and he suggested finding some new ones that were designed to fit over a plus sized calf, as many of the girls on the risers had on.

After finishing her snack, she'd find Michael, the man she'd met months ago at this club, a man she found indescribably cute, sweet and generally perfect. She'd worked hard to impress him, and when she learned he liked bigger girls, she'd swiftly let her tiny dancer's body round into its current plus sized grandeur.

Typically they'd talk a little, dance a little, and then he'd set her up with a meal so she could gain enough weight to perform on the risers. She was dying to perform on the risers, she could dance as well as any of the girls up there, they were just a few pounds bigger than she was, which is what they wanted to see on Thursday nights.

Tonight wasn't typical though. Michael looked her over and casually remarked "It's a little tight, don't you think?"

Karen smiled, she knew this was a compliment from Michael. "It's a lot tight, actually. I don't know that I'll be able to wear it next week."

Michael gave her another glance. The seams were tight, her underwear could be seen pressed against the material. Rolls of flesh were clearly visible wherever the outfit gathered. "Are you sure you can dance in it?"

Karen rolled her eyes. "Of course I can dance in it."

He reached a hand out to her. She took it, unsure what to do for a moment before he started to guide her up to the nearest riser.

She was stunned for a moment before bursting into a big smile, and then putting on her best dance. She was dancing for Michael, but every eye in the club was on her.

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Comments:
Charlotte, dearest Charlotte, I love your writing... I love your descriptions, especially of people pondering their bodies, their image in the mirror. It is real,genuine, at times... but you need more of this...more of the real, the true, the character. What does your character think... is the one at the dance club so shallow, so superficial, that all she wants to do is to be the best dancer, to impress. Is she so smug that she knows she is so sexy... Good writing needs more depth... more contradiction... she thinks she is hot, she feels the eyes on her but she needs a bit of the uncertainity... You don't want flat characters...Give more... describe more...feelings thoughts motivations fears.. I really like your reporter idea... and I can predict your cliff- hanger story... the girl gets fat to impress her ex who said she was too thin...it is a bit too predictable or maybe that is why you are stuck because you don't want to fall into the rut of predictablity and superficial stories... Give us the guts...a painful, funny, descriptive glimpse into the life of a genuine character, someone who we can feel and think along with... I think your writing is great... I love to keep reading but I wish for more... Keep writing....
 
Always leave 'em wanting more ;-)

I guess if I have to explain/justify a story, I'm not telling the story right, and that's fine.

As for writing superficial stories... I'm aware that some are deeper than others. I'm writing to different tastes, finding out where my strengths and weaknesses are. I write for myself, I publish for others. I'm glad you enjoy some of it, in fact, I'd rather have a lot of people who like a little than a few people who like it all, if you know what I mean.

The cliff hanger you're close, but not quite. The chapter I was writing became too long, so I sort of chopped it off, the problem is that I didn't really cut it in half, so the chopped off bit is languishing until it can be fleshed out, so to speak.
 
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