MsCezanne's Odyssey

It's a dream assignment, I can, nay, must eat everything I want. At least, it seemed like a dream assignment. It turns out eating everything I want isn't enough, I need to eat everything I see, and let me tell you, food really is everywhere! At the end of the day I've eaten so much I can barely move, and at night I lay awake wondering if I've eaten enough.

There's more to it than simply eating more. As a journalist, I'm used to making sure I'm observing the story, and doing my best not to be a part of it. This series is the very opposite, I am the story, and I'm finding it goes against the fibre that I built up over the years at school and on the job.

Even though I'm not a well known personality, I do get recognised from time to time, and now I'm starting to get recognised as the girl who's getting fat. I've changed where I shop. The people at my grocery store recognise me, and I can't face them when my cart has three times as much food as normal. When I go to the drive through, I never make eye contact with the people serving me. I'm a people person, but with so much food being bought, I just can't bring myself to be in contact with people.

Is this my journalistic instinct trying to keep me out of the story as much as possible? Maybe I'm worried about people recognising me? Am I simply embarrassed about how much I'm eating? Are other fat people embarrassed by how much they eat?

Speaking as the central part of my own story, I need to address a question that has come my way frequently. Well, a few questions, really. 1) No, I'm not out of my mind. 2) Yes, I'm being paid for this. Seemed like a lot at the time, not so sure now. The main question I'd like to address though is what my significant other thinks of this. The answer is, I have no significant other. Over the years I've had trouble finding someone to connect with. I'd move on to better opportunities as they came up. I'm very exacting with the kind of man I'd like to be with. I'm smart, opinionated, well educated and (with all due modesty), fairly cute: I can intimidate men without trying. I do date, and have had successful dates, and even a few relationships in the past.

Currently I'm going solo, and haven't quite decided how I'll approach the dating scene. Finding love is a universal quest, for the fat and thin, so to complete this adventure, I will have to date. For me right now, I'm adapting to a new lifestyle, so I'm not sure I'm ready to adapt to a new person or people. Also, what would a date be? An all you can eat buffet? How romantic is that?

Finally, this past week I've gained another 2 pounds. I thought I'd be way fatter by now, but my clothes are getting tight.

Labels: byline, fiction, weight gain