MsCezanne's Odyssey

As I've settled into my new life of sedentary overeating, tightening clothes and excessive jiggling, it was difficult to generate weekly updates with hard hitting insights, so the column has shifted focus to being a monthly feature. Luckily I've been able to cover for our food critic who has taken time to write his book about European cuisine.

I know that food critics often order several dishes, simply to sample them, so I'm sure it was a surprise when I'd order several dishes and actually finish them. Of course, they wouldn't know that I'd hit the KFC on the way home to really fill up.

My editor is also happy that I can cover 2 columns on one food bill! Maybe I can take over the fashion column to cover all the clothes I've been buying.

I have been buying clothes too, I've popped more buttons over the last month than I'd have thought possible. I shouldn't be too surprised though, in 4 weeks I've put on 12 pounds - 3 pounds a week. My wardrobe is having a hard time keeping up. I don't want to buy too many clothes though, because I won't be 156 pounds for long, and I don't need a closet full of clothes that range from too small to far to small. At the same time, I need enough clothes to get by.

The changes to my body haven't been drastic, but they're far from subtle. Everything on my body is getting bigger, from my cheeks, my arms, my thighs, my bum and (yay) my boobs. Even my tummy, which has never been a flat 'stomach', is maturing from a soft tummy to a round 'belly'. In fact, I've found myself unconsciously rubbing it from time to time like I'm pregnant. Between the expanding bust line and belly, I do wonder if people think I am indeed pregnant.

But I'm not pregnant. I'm just fat. And I'm getting fatter.

Labels: byline, fiction, weight gain