Thursday, July 22, 2010
Charlotte the Lesser
Well, everything seems to have gone to plan, and with any luck we'll have a baby within a year!
I'm tipping the scales at 282 pounds, not quite the 260 we were shooting for, but close enough that we're happy with it for now. I'm very happy about this, and very excited. Maybe even very very excited...
Before moving on to the next stage of my life, it's time to look back at the stage I've come out of. It's been a few years of constant change. Paul's growing up, with all the daily miracles that entails. We've moved into a new house, which was a LOT more work than I ever expected (it's one thing to move from house to house as a poor student... quite another for a mature family to rearrange their entire lives into a larger space!) Finally, there's the changes in me.
I've lost a lot of weight in the interest of 'health'. It's been a lot of work, and there were many many (many) days where I wasn't sure if it was going to happen, if it was going to be worth it. Now... with my goals in sight, I'm glad that I did it, that I stuck with it, that I've managed to become Charlotte the Lesser.
As excited as I am to move forward, there is a sense of loss, both literally and figuratively. Part of my life is gone, probably gone forever, and I miss it.
I miss sitting down to a pile of food, knowing that I get to eat all of it.
I miss sitting down on a couch, always in the back of my mind wondering if it's going to hold me this time.
I miss waddling into a room, and seeing everyone's eyes go wide when they realise how big I am.
I miss simply sitting, being in tune with my body. I can do that now, but there's just so much LESS to be in tune, it's like comparing Cezanne's studio with The Louvre. I'd love to check out the studio, but I can happily be lost in The Louvre forever.
I even miss folding my laundry, wondering why my clothes looked so much bigger than I felt.
In the interests of fairness, there are some things I don't miss:
I'm quite happy that my plans now include what I want to, rather than what I can do. (Alas, most of my plans are things that HAVE to be done... but even still, a lot more of those get done these days.)
I guess that's all that comes to mind right now.
I'm not happy that I 'get' to do the laundry, or the chores, or the errands. It's nice to be able to do it all, but I don't LIKE doing them, lol.
I can buy clothes much easier, which is also nice, but the giant clothes should be as easy to get.
I'm tipping the scales at 282 pounds, not quite the 260 we were shooting for, but close enough that we're happy with it for now. I'm very happy about this, and very excited. Maybe even very very excited...
Before moving on to the next stage of my life, it's time to look back at the stage I've come out of. It's been a few years of constant change. Paul's growing up, with all the daily miracles that entails. We've moved into a new house, which was a LOT more work than I ever expected (it's one thing to move from house to house as a poor student... quite another for a mature family to rearrange their entire lives into a larger space!) Finally, there's the changes in me.
I've lost a lot of weight in the interest of 'health'. It's been a lot of work, and there were many many (many) days where I wasn't sure if it was going to happen, if it was going to be worth it. Now... with my goals in sight, I'm glad that I did it, that I stuck with it, that I've managed to become Charlotte the Lesser.
As excited as I am to move forward, there is a sense of loss, both literally and figuratively. Part of my life is gone, probably gone forever, and I miss it.
I miss sitting down to a pile of food, knowing that I get to eat all of it.
I miss sitting down on a couch, always in the back of my mind wondering if it's going to hold me this time.
I miss waddling into a room, and seeing everyone's eyes go wide when they realise how big I am.
I miss simply sitting, being in tune with my body. I can do that now, but there's just so much LESS to be in tune, it's like comparing Cezanne's studio with The Louvre. I'd love to check out the studio, but I can happily be lost in The Louvre forever.
I even miss folding my laundry, wondering why my clothes looked so much bigger than I felt.
In the interests of fairness, there are some things I don't miss:
I'm quite happy that my plans now include what I want to, rather than what I can do. (Alas, most of my plans are things that HAVE to be done... but even still, a lot more of those get done these days.)
I guess that's all that comes to mind right now.
I'm not happy that I 'get' to do the laundry, or the chores, or the errands. It's nice to be able to do it all, but I don't LIKE doing them, lol.
I can buy clothes much easier, which is also nice, but the giant clothes should be as easy to get.
Labels: Char, diary, weigh in, weight loss
Monday, August 17, 2009
Not a Real Post
It's been busy!
I know I always say that, but who knew life could be so busy!
Anyway, without any effort to post the long story, Amy was back in Ontario for two weeks, and I'd forgotten just how big she is!
I will try to write more later.
And to those who care: I'm currently 367 pounds (I was 363 before she visited...)
I know I always say that, but who knew life could be so busy!
Anyway, without any effort to post the long story, Amy was back in Ontario for two weeks, and I'd forgotten just how big she is!
I will try to write more later.
And to those who care: I'm currently 367 pounds (I was 363 before she visited...)
Labels: Amy, Char, diary, weigh in, weight gain, weight loss
Saturday, July 11, 2009
The Blog that Never Dies
Not so much a post as... um... blog life support?
Labels: diary
The Blog that Never Dies
Not so much a post as... um... blog life support?
Labels: diary
Monday, April 27, 2009
House Hunting
Ian and I went house hunting again on the weekend.
It's not mathematically possible to get a better mortgage than we can now, so uncertainty be damned, we're getting a house!
It's not mathematically possible to get a better mortgage than we can now, so uncertainty be damned, we're getting a house!
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Easter, Baby and Hockey
Well, Easter has come and gone. It's always a time to eat, and I got a free pass from Sherry. I only gained one pound this year though, lol.
I got to see my niece again, which just makes me want a baby of my own!
I got to see Jeri again, and I can't believe how big she's getting. I remember when she was pregnant the first time she seemed just so huge, and yet I don't think she was more than 200 pounds. I guess our perspectives change with time!
Finally, hockey has started up, which means I won't get to see much of Ian until June.
Maybe I'll finally find some time to get my diary back on track!
Weigh in: 393 pounds
I got to see my niece again, which just makes me want a baby of my own!
I got to see Jeri again, and I can't believe how big she's getting. I remember when she was pregnant the first time she seemed just so huge, and yet I don't think she was more than 200 pounds. I guess our perspectives change with time!
Finally, hockey has started up, which means I won't get to see much of Ian until June.
Maybe I'll finally find some time to get my diary back on track!
Weigh in: 393 pounds
Labels: Char, diary, weigh in, weight gain, weight loss
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Crossing 400.
Again.
For the last time for a couple years, I hope ;-)
For the last time for a couple years, I hope ;-)
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Routine
I didn't think it had been this long since I posted!
I'm finally getting back into my old routine, which means regular swims, and regular appoinments with the weights. I vaguely recall bragging how much energy I had, and how strong I was getting. Not so much now! I feel kind of like a weakling, considering how well I was doing until the Thanksgiving Derailment!
I don't regret taking a break though. Well, not now, maybe near the end of my workouts... but that's how you know they're working. I had a great fall, I loved putting on some weight, enjoying some good food, and having a happy holidays. It's not just something you say at the check out!
The holidays themselves were crazy busy, of course. Back home to see family and friends. Nothing like my listening to my sister complain her maternity jeans are too tight while we're having our third serving of apple pie ;-)
Amy came for a visit. I wish I could see her more often, but it was still nice to have a chance to cook for her again! I've missed that a lot! For someone on a diet she certainly put away food like the old days.
I'm finally getting back into my old routine, which means regular swims, and regular appoinments with the weights. I vaguely recall bragging how much energy I had, and how strong I was getting. Not so much now! I feel kind of like a weakling, considering how well I was doing until the Thanksgiving Derailment!
I don't regret taking a break though. Well, not now, maybe near the end of my workouts... but that's how you know they're working. I had a great fall, I loved putting on some weight, enjoying some good food, and having a happy holidays. It's not just something you say at the check out!
The holidays themselves were crazy busy, of course. Back home to see family and friends. Nothing like my listening to my sister complain her maternity jeans are too tight while we're having our third serving of apple pie ;-)
Amy came for a visit. I wish I could see her more often, but it was still nice to have a chance to cook for her again! I've missed that a lot! For someone on a diet she certainly put away food like the old days.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Merry Christmas!
Happy Holidays, etc.
I'm off to Toronto for a few days.
I'll be seeing family and friends (including Amy, who's flown home from Calgary for 2 weeks!)
I'm off to Toronto for a few days.
I'll be seeing family and friends (including Amy, who's flown home from Calgary for 2 weeks!)
Sunday, November 30, 2008
American Thanksgiving
I didn't have a time to make a turkey this year, so we had ham instead. Still did up plenty of veggies and potatoes though! Sherry actually baked an apple pie that turned out very nice. It's the first time I had a Thanksgiving with her when she was preggo, so it was nice to over indulge with my personal trainer...
Labels: Char, diary, thanksgiving
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Babies everywhere!
I don't normally write much about other people, but I can't help it: my sister is pregnant, and two of my friends are pregnant! That's a lot of pregnancies to find out about all in one day!
This'll be the third for my sister, and the second for each of my friends.
I've got to say that I'm excited for all of them, and a little bummed that I'm still a year away from getting preggo myself. Gaining 8 pounds over the last month has been fun, but I'm not so fond of them at this moment, I could've lost 8 pounds instead, and be 16 pounds closer!
I'll just have to work on getting back to the gym.
This'll be the third for my sister, and the second for each of my friends.
I've got to say that I'm excited for all of them, and a little bummed that I'm still a year away from getting preggo myself. Gaining 8 pounds over the last month has been fun, but I'm not so fond of them at this moment, I could've lost 8 pounds instead, and be 16 pounds closer!
I'll just have to work on getting back to the gym.
Monday, November 03, 2008
Fat Char Returns!
Between Thanksgiving, Hallowe'en, Paul being sick, me being sick and Sherry being sick, I've managed to come up with a long list of excuses to gain some weight. I just haven't gotten back into my groove. I'm not watching what I eat, I'm not getting to the pool or doing my exercises.
I can feel it, too. It's been a long time since I really felt 'fat', but I'm feeling it now. I'm still of two minds about it too. I LOVE feeling fat! To feel fat after all this time, it's intoxicating, I'm revelling in it. At the same time, it's taking me further from my goal, and I'm feeling guilty about losing my self control for an extended period of time.
I know that sooner or later I'll get things back under control, just hope it doesn't take too long!
Until then, I'm just enjoying the new familiar feelings, and trying to let them become a habit.
I can feel it, too. It's been a long time since I really felt 'fat', but I'm feeling it now. I'm still of two minds about it too. I LOVE feeling fat! To feel fat after all this time, it's intoxicating, I'm revelling in it. At the same time, it's taking me further from my goal, and I'm feeling guilty about losing my self control for an extended period of time.
I know that sooner or later I'll get things back under control, just hope it doesn't take too long!
Until then, I'm just enjoying the new familiar feelings, and trying to let them become a habit.
Labels: Char, diary, weight gain
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Thanksgiving
My favourite time of year, Thanksgiving! I haven't had time to really post about it. I've committed to finishing up Matt and Annie, so I polished off a couple chapters, it just seems to keep going and going though. I'm sure no one's complaining though...
I had a nice dinner with my family back home on Thanksgiving weekend.
This past weekend I made a dinner for my friends here in London. Then Paul got sick, and I haven't had the time or energy to really write it up.
I'm sick now, so not really up to a full write up.
Suffice it to say, I'm now 403 pounds.
Happy Thanksgiving!
I had a nice dinner with my family back home on Thanksgiving weekend.
This past weekend I made a dinner for my friends here in London. Then Paul got sick, and I haven't had the time or energy to really write it up.
I'm sick now, so not really up to a full write up.
Suffice it to say, I'm now 403 pounds.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Labels: Char, diary, thanksgiving, weigh in
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Return of the Wednesday Weigh In
Well, I've broken 400 pounds again. I think this is my 4th time now, 2nd time going down.
400 is one of those psychological barriers. I feel thinner. I see a thinner person in the mirror. My energy levels haven't changed much since the summer though. I'm in good shape, despite my weight. I move around great, and seem to always be ready to go, even if there's nothing to do!
In other news, I'm not finding the time to write like I'd like to. I'm still working on my drawn out weight gain story that doesn't have any weight gain to start. I want enough of it done that there IS weight gain before I post it! Also, someone has finally made the effort to edit my stories! They're being posted in the Dimensions Library. I'm kind of excited about it. Reading my stories is a lot of fun!
In further news, my friend, Amy, has resumed posting in her diary. I know I haven't updated much about her lately, mostly because she wasn't so keen on being updated. Now you can learn whatever you want about her.
400 is one of those psychological barriers. I feel thinner. I see a thinner person in the mirror. My energy levels haven't changed much since the summer though. I'm in good shape, despite my weight. I move around great, and seem to always be ready to go, even if there's nothing to do!
In other news, I'm not finding the time to write like I'd like to. I'm still working on my drawn out weight gain story that doesn't have any weight gain to start. I want enough of it done that there IS weight gain before I post it! Also, someone has finally made the effort to edit my stories! They're being posted in the Dimensions Library. I'm kind of excited about it. Reading my stories is a lot of fun!
In further news, my friend, Amy, has resumed posting in her diary. I know I haven't updated much about her lately, mostly because she wasn't so keen on being updated. Now you can learn whatever you want about her.
Labels: Amy, Char, diary, weigh in
Friday, October 03, 2008
The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!
I love the autumn. The leaves change colour, Thanksgiving is coming up, the weather plays its little tricks, and the word ends with a silent 'n'. What's not to love?
Also, I got a promotion at work.
Yay me!
Also, I got a promotion at work.
Yay me!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Still Nothing
I got nothing.
The days are getting cooler, but the trees haven't started changing yet.
But they will!
The days are getting cooler, but the trees haven't started changing yet.
But they will!
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
As Summer Wanes
I haven't written much in terms of fiction or personal biography. Why? I guess I've been busy. I haven't been busy with anything I felt the need to write about, because while I've enjoyed it, I don't know that I'd want to read about it.
For both Ian and I, life is routine. I never wanted a routine life, but having one is pretty good, I've got to admit. I don't like having an office job, but do like having a job I can do and take pride in, I like having co-workers I get along with.
Ian's job is more exciting than mine. He's with a small company that is both shrinking and growing. They've got less people doing more work. Ian's getting a bigger piece of the pie, and the pie is getting bigger. It keeps him really busy, but he enjoys the challenges, and makes time at home that much more special.
Having our personal trainer living two floors away means that our exercise routines are are always on pace. I've been swimming, walking in the park and working out with free weights. I'm in better shape than I've been in a decade, despite still being quite fat. I love how it feels, I love how it looks.
Ian gets in his workouts when he can. He doesn't get in as much as I do, but he's cute anyways.
I know people still ask about Amy, and I haven't written much about her either. She's had some health scares, and she's now actively losing weight. She's in touch with Sherry, and they're working on a programme like the one she worked on with me and Ian. It'll be tougher for Amy, she doesn't have Sherry there to kick her ass! Thomas probably will though, so hopefully Amy'll be doing fine in a few months' time.
Weigh ins:
Char: 415 pounds
Ian: 319
Amy: Approx 535
For both Ian and I, life is routine. I never wanted a routine life, but having one is pretty good, I've got to admit. I don't like having an office job, but do like having a job I can do and take pride in, I like having co-workers I get along with.
Ian's job is more exciting than mine. He's with a small company that is both shrinking and growing. They've got less people doing more work. Ian's getting a bigger piece of the pie, and the pie is getting bigger. It keeps him really busy, but he enjoys the challenges, and makes time at home that much more special.
Having our personal trainer living two floors away means that our exercise routines are are always on pace. I've been swimming, walking in the park and working out with free weights. I'm in better shape than I've been in a decade, despite still being quite fat. I love how it feels, I love how it looks.
Ian gets in his workouts when he can. He doesn't get in as much as I do, but he's cute anyways.
I know people still ask about Amy, and I haven't written much about her either. She's had some health scares, and she's now actively losing weight. She's in touch with Sherry, and they're working on a programme like the one she worked on with me and Ian. It'll be tougher for Amy, she doesn't have Sherry there to kick her ass! Thomas probably will though, so hopefully Amy'll be doing fine in a few months' time.
Weigh ins:
Char: 415 pounds
Ian: 319
Amy: Approx 535
Labels: Amy, Char, diary, Ian, weigh in, weight loss
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
In Touch
I've been off on vacation.
Home now.
Post later.
Home now.
Post later.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
The Double Edged Sword
A lot of fat people complain about a lack of energy. While I did experience that phenomenon, I didn't complain about it. I was quite content to let Ian do all the work while I was being lazy.
Now that I'm losing weight and exercising more, I've got plenty of energy. Sounds good, right? Wrong. Now I need to do something with that energy! I'm cleaning, I'm going out, I'm running errands, going for walks. If I try to just sit still, I get restless!
Why do people want to be like this!?
Anyway.
The weather has been hit and miss. There's been a few tornadoes in the area, but not near me. Even people from London say this isn't normal, so I guess there's something to this climate change thing. The rain and thunderstorms are nice though. The park looks fantastic!
The festivals are getting up and running in London too. They've cut back on the number of them, there were so many that they were sort of getting lost. It'll be nice to not feel like I have to go to Victoria Park EVERY weekend to see the same stuff.
Of course, now I've got the energy to do it, maybe I'll wish I was.
Now that I'm losing weight and exercising more, I've got plenty of energy. Sounds good, right? Wrong. Now I need to do something with that energy! I'm cleaning, I'm going out, I'm running errands, going for walks. If I try to just sit still, I get restless!
Why do people want to be like this!?
Anyway.
The weather has been hit and miss. There's been a few tornadoes in the area, but not near me. Even people from London say this isn't normal, so I guess there's something to this climate change thing. The rain and thunderstorms are nice though. The park looks fantastic!
The festivals are getting up and running in London too. They've cut back on the number of them, there were so many that they were sort of getting lost. It'll be nice to not feel like I have to go to Victoria Park EVERY weekend to see the same stuff.
Of course, now I've got the energy to do it, maybe I'll wish I was.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Long Lost Update
Okay, it's not really lost. It's not even going to be long either. It IS an update though!
London is doing it's damndest to get from winter into summer. Spring seems to be a bit of an oversight this year, it's either blazing hot, or freezing, neither of which really appeal to me.
At least the park is green and free of snow! I've been doing lots of walking in the park, in addition to swimming and weights. I'm feeling fantastic. I've lost about 70 pounds since last fall, and I do feel like a different person. Sometimes I forget that at 447 pounds, I'm still quite large!
Ian's own weight loss continues. He's got more time now that things at work have settled down he's got time to hit the gym more seriously. He's about 320 pounds now, and a lot of it is muscle!
Life has been routine. Ian's work has settled some issues they had, so he's at home a lot more now, which is nice for everyone. We're looking at houses, again. It's nicer in the spring, you get a better idea of how the house really looks when the garden is alive. People fix their houses up in the spring, everyone sells houses in the spring, I'm having more fun looking than anything else.
London is doing it's damndest to get from winter into summer. Spring seems to be a bit of an oversight this year, it's either blazing hot, or freezing, neither of which really appeal to me.
At least the park is green and free of snow! I've been doing lots of walking in the park, in addition to swimming and weights. I'm feeling fantastic. I've lost about 70 pounds since last fall, and I do feel like a different person. Sometimes I forget that at 447 pounds, I'm still quite large!
Ian's own weight loss continues. He's got more time now that things at work have settled down he's got time to hit the gym more seriously. He's about 320 pounds now, and a lot of it is muscle!
Life has been routine. Ian's work has settled some issues they had, so he's at home a lot more now, which is nice for everyone. We're looking at houses, again. It's nicer in the spring, you get a better idea of how the house really looks when the garden is alive. People fix their houses up in the spring, everyone sells houses in the spring, I'm having more fun looking than anything else.
Labels: Char, diary, Ian, weigh in, weight loss
